Glam Rock
by LadyBush
Summary: SLASH. Sirius likes wizard glam rock: glitter, glam and crazy music. Remus likes the quiet life: tea, Mozart and charms essays.
1. Diamond Cats

So what is Wizard Glam Rock? To the best of my knowledge I invented it and it means wizards, glitter, long hair, wizard rock music, more glitter, tight trousers, jewellery, love, sex and yet more glitter. 

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Rating: PG-13, won't go higher.

This chapter is Remus' POV. Please review and I'll happily finish this little story as soon as possible. Next chapter is Sirius discovering some interesting feelings for Remus and Remus trying to turn himself into a wizard glam rock star… 

**~~~Glam Rock~~~**

**Remus Lupin's Journal 25th August **

I've just spent the last five weeks of my summer holiday in France. I stayed with my cousins Jean-Luc and Pierre (spot the French ancestry) in a huge chateau with plaster mouldings and chandeliers. It lay in the most beautiful countryside ever- rolling hills, clear rivers, lush valleys- and I hated it. It wasn't because my cousins were arrogant, obnoxious brats, or even that my parents had chosen to fly off to Egypt without me. No, I hated my holiday in France because Sirius wasn't there. And I'm in love with Sirius.

            There, I've said it. I love Sirius. Hell, I'm _in _love with Sirius. I could scream it from the rooftops- I'M IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND! Only I could never scream that for two reasons: firstly, Sirius would be disgusted and secondly, James would be upset that he isn't my best friend. Sorry James. 

            You can see my problem, can't you? I want to tell Sirius how I feel so much that it hurts. Only I won't because he'd be disgusted. Sirius is very straight. He likes girls a lot- especially brunettes with tiny waists and huge breasts. And what am I? A blonde haired werewolf, a_ boy_ and most importantly, his best friend. 

Rule number one of falling in love: never fall in love with your best friend.

It hurts to know that he will never love me but I can stand it as long as I see him soon. I want to be around him, to hear his shamelessly sexist jokes, to have his hair accidentally brush against my hand as he bends over me, to smell the… bloody hell. I can't go on like this. I have to see Sirius Black.  

**Remus Lupin's Journal 29th August **

Number of times I've repacked my Hogwarts trunk today: 13. 

Number of times I've had fantasies about Sirius Black: 19 (oh dear…)

Number of weird owls received from James: 1 

Hogwarts tomorrow! I feel so childish- seventeen in a month and I'm more excited than any first year at the thought of catching the Hogwarts express tomorrow. I can barely eat, can't sleep at all and the only thing sustaining me are endless cups of tea. God, I love tea! My Father is French (but I was born in England) and when he asked me why I had chosen to go to Hogwarts instead of Beauxbatons, I told him it was because the British make the best tea in the world. Needless to say, he took that as an insult to his country and went off muttering about the French making the best wine. That's just what would happen if I told him I was gay. I tell you, he'd be in a crazy rage for a moment then he'd go all weepy and ask what he'd done to deserve a gay werewolf for a son… 

Anyway, I received an owl from James this morning. Here, I'll copy down what it said:__

_Wait 'til you see Sirius…_

That was it- a whole scroll of parchment devoted to that one line. What does it mean? Has Sirius changed in some way? This waiting is unbearable- I have to see Sirius Black or I think I shall go mad.

**Platform Nine and Three Quarters**

I run onto the platform (and manage to send a crows of second year girls crashing to the floor as I charge into them). My eyes scan the crowds of wizards gathered. I spot James immediately. He's tall and gangly, with crazy black hair and think-rimmed glasses. I wait for him to notice me. Finally he does and grins broadly. Then he's by my side and giving me a manly pat on the shoulder (which hurts quite a bit).

"Just wait 'til you see Padfoot," he laughs.

I'm nearly dying with curiosity. What could possibly be different about Sirius? Suddenly, I'm stricken with horror at an image of Sirius with bright pink hair- surely not… 

James waves at somebody in the crowd of students. It takes me a few seconds to spot him. Then I gasp. That can't be Sirius… My God…

Normally he's tanned and I'm pale but our roles have been reversed. I'm lightly browned by the French sun but Sirius can't have left his flat all summer. He's deathly white and there are shadows under his eyes, or is that- surely not- make up? Sirius is wearing make up! He's grown and must be about 5"10 and lean with sharp, strong cheekbones. And then I realise he has an earring (a rather large earring) and his hair shines slightly blue when it catches the light. He's wearing tight black jeans, and a deep violet cape with a sparkling silver clasp. 

I think he looks gorgeous. 

James elbows me and gestures towards Sirius with his hand. "I believe they call it 'glam rock'", he says and laughs again.

Sirius comes up to me and embraces me. He's never done it before. In fact I've never been hugged by anyone but my mother when I was tiny. I pull him towards me and hug him a little too tightly. Then I don't seem to let go. He's warm and strong, and hell, hugging Sirius feels _right._ Eventually, he disentangles himself from me and nods hello at James, who seems to be keeping his distance in case Sirius should try to hug him too. Peter appears at last and the Marauders are reunited. I notice Sirius doesn't even attempt to hug Peter. 

Then I realise something. In a split-second of startling revelation I realise that I can't resign myself to just being Sirius' friend. I want to be his lover. I watch Sirius talking with Peter, he hasn't said a single word to me but our embrace was enough. In some ways I love Sirius even more than I did yesterday- he just isn't as straight as he used to be (with the eye make up and everything…) 

"Have you heard 'Diamond Cats'?" Peter is asking Sirius.

Sirius nods and starts humming. James is still laughing and I feel so detached from them that it takes an effort to realise that these three boys have been my best friends for five years.

            What on earth is 'diamond cats' supposed to be? A song? I realise with a shock that Peter has far more knowledge of wizard glam rock than I do. And I also realise that I don't have a chance with the new Sirius unless I can learn something about wizard glam rock. Already I find myself eyeing Sirius' eye make up and wondering how humiliating it would be to buy some for me. Maybe I could get myself a new cloak- in deep emerald or blue with a great sparkling clasp… I could enchant my hair to make it glow amber or gold or red- I could even pierce my own ear!

            There it is: my cunning plan. Dreadful isn't it? I'm going to turn myself into a wizard glam rocker to make my best friend love me. It sounds pathetic even as I think it but it's my only hope. I wonder how much it hurts to stick a pin through your ear… 


	2. Unrequited Love

A huge thanks to my five kind reviewers (and one not so kind…) And please review again!

~~~**Glam Rock, Chapter Two**~~~

~**Sirius' POV, 31st August**~

I'm lying in my bed at Hogwarts. It feels wonderful to be back beneath the familiar red sheets. The curtain round my bed isn't drawn- it never is. James likes his privacy and so does Peter, but Remus and I haven't drawn our curtains since third year when we discovered that the pair of us were scared of the dark. That sounds stupid, doesn't it? We're both Gryffindors, renowned for our bravery, and we're afraid of the dark. But with our curtains open and my magic ever-glow light on (buy one they're great!) so that we can see one another, we're no longer afraid. 

            I guess that's what I love about Remus (heck, did I say _love_?) He's so sensitive and yet so brave. He never complains about his werewolf transformations, or the tough schoolwork, and he always has time to spare for other peoples problems. Oh, and he's bloody gorgeous too…

            Here, lying safely in bed under the covers, it's easy to admit that I fancy my best friend (sorry James, you're a great mate as well) but I could never tell Remus. He'd be totally disgusted. No, actually he'd be really understanding about it but he'd never love me back. _Unrequited love_. Sounds so romantic until you're experiencing it. 

            I sit up to watch Remus. His fair hair is fanned out over his pillow and he's snoring gently. The first sunlight of the day is streaming in through the window and gently caressing his sleeping form. He looks so beautiful, like an angel, that I'm rendered speechless by the sight. I love him more than ever before. I love him so much that I can't stand it. My kind, dear, beautiful-

            "Wake up, gentlemen!!!!!" cries James, spoiling the moment. I pretend to be asleep and not watching Remus. 

"Wake up, Sirius, you lazy bugger!"

~~~~~             ~~~~~             ~~~~~

Double Potions with Professor Death 

I spent twenty minutes in the shower just stood under the water. Then I spent the next half hour charming my eyes to an interesting shade of violet (looks good with the black eye liner…) I'm dressed in an electric blue robe (I have a feeling that Dumbledore will not be ecstatic about my choice of uniform) and I've even replaced the silver ring in my ear with a dangling dragon with a sapphire eye.   

And now I'm ten minutes late for Potions and I don't give a damn.

I walk calmly into the Potions dungeon. Everybody is staring at me, including Remus. I notice for just a moment the subtle way in which the flames of the torches mounted on the walls play with his light sandy hair. 

"Mr Black! What time do you call this?" says Professor Death (who is a particular sinister female, as tall as me and with limbs as thick as tree trunks).

I shrug. I don't care about Potions.

"I WILL NOT TOLERATE-" Professor Death is yelling at me but I can't bring myself to pay attention. I catch James' eye and notice he's laughing at me. Peter looks anxious and Remus looks- Oh my God! Remus Lupin is looking more stunning every time I see him. I don't know why but something about his gentle smile and soft features captivates me. I can't stop staring. I've really fallen for him, haven't I?

Professor Death interrupts my thoughts. "Would you please care to explain, Mr Black, why you have been staring at Mr Lupin for the past minute?"

Uh-Oh.

"It is not my fault if I am drawn to such a beautiful creature as himself."

Shit. I can't believe I just said that. James is staring at me. Peter is staring at me. Remus looks as if he's about to fall off his chair. Why do I have to be to be such a bloody idiot? Before anybody can say another word, I creep to my place between James and Remus and stare fixedly ahead. I can feel Remus looking at me questioningly but I ignore him. I can answer his questions later- at the same time as I confess that I'm truly, madly, deeply in love with him. I LOVE YOU REMUS LUPIN!  Like I'll ever have the courage to tell him how that!

Then I realise something. I realise that Remus Lupin doesn't like to be made the centre of attention. He likes to blend into the background, to live the quiet life, drink endless cups of tea and listen to classical music. Remus will never love me while I continue to draw attention to myself. While I listen to wizard glam rock and dress in outlandish glittery robes. If I want Remus Lupin, and I do, then I'll have to start turning up to lessons on time, drinking tea instead of extra-strong coffee and listening to Mozart (muggle composers are still the best at classical music). Hell, I'll even stop wearing the eye make up and the earring- no, the earring has to stay… I'm sure Remus won't mind the earring too much. That is if he ever takes a second glance at me. 

I reach across Remus to borrow one of Peter's quills. My arm accidentally brushes against Remus'. He trembles at the touch. 

~~~~~             ~~~~~             ~~~~~

Next chapter: Remus buys himself some new robes, Sirius starts behaving like a model student and somehow ends up piercing Remus' ear… or trying to…


	3. Amber Flame

A massive thank you to nekohebi, Chaos, Demus, madkornfan, QueenSmithy, Huan the Wolfhound, Ceresi and Mordecai. Please review again!

~**Remus' POV, First Hogsmeade Weekend of the year, 6th September**~

I struggle through the streets of Hogsmeade carrying three shopping bags (my mind is too preoccupied with thoughts of a certain tall, lean boy with inky blue/black hair and violet eyes to even consider how to put a lightening charm on my heavy load). The load in question contains all the items on my neatly written shopping list: 

Black eyeliner 

Brown eyeliner

One set of emerald green robes 

Matching glittery clasp for above robes

Dr. Good-hair's original magic formula hair colour enhancer in shade 47 ('Amber Flame')

Helga Henderson's extra-strong surgical spirit 

A huge pot of glitter 

            I'm smiling as I walk. It had been surprisingly easy to go shopping on my own in Hogsmeade. James and Peter were busy downing butterbeers and flirting with the barmaid in the Three Broomsticks, and Sirius- Sirius had chosen not to go to Hogsmeade at all. The last I saw of him he was acting very strangely- he was doing his Potion's homework. Weird.

            I stop outside a small jewellery shop just off the Hogsmeade Main Street and glance in the window. Something catches my eye. It's an earring. I lean in closer and press my nose against the cold glass. The earring is small and silver with a very small star hanging from it. Whenever I see a star I'm reminded of Sirius, and I can't help thinking that this particular earring would look perfect hanging from my ear! 

            "For you, it is seven galleons," says a soft voice in my ear. I spin round to see the owner of the shop, a plump young woman smiling at me.

"You startled me!" I reply but already I'm rooting around in my pockets to see if I can afford the earring. "I can give you six galleons and two sickles," I say at last and give the shopkeeper an appealing smile.

The woman laughs and retreats into the shop. A moment later she reappears with a parcel wrapped in shiny blue paper. She looks at me for a moment, then hands me the parcel and heads back into the shop. "You forgot your money!" I yell after her. Silence, and then-

"Look on it as a present from Sirius Black!" calls the soft voice from within the shop.

~**Remus Lupin's Journal, 6th September**~ 

Today is certainly a red-letter day! Sirius has done his Potions homework early for the first time in his life! And I have dyed my hair for the first time in my life! It's red and vibrant and gleaming. And, God, I sound vain!

However, I'm a little concerned about Sirius. We've only been back at Hogwarts a week but already he's acting strange. Firstly, on Monday he said I was an attractive creature!" I know he was joking but I still can't help wondering if the fifth year Sirius would have dared say that in front of everybody. Then he starts doing his homework on time. And- this is the really weird part- yesterday I caught Sirius listening to music and when I asked him what it was he was listening to, he replied: "Beethoven, 9th symphony. Sirius was listening to Beethoven!  Since when has Sirius listened to classical music? And what happened to his whole rock obsession? 

I'm really puzzled. For one moment when Sirius told me he was listening to Beethoven, I thought that maybe he was doing it to please me. Of course, he could never love me like I love him, but maybe he was flirting with me in some way, or perhaps-

NO! I mustn't kid myself. I love Sirius with all my heart and all he sees me as is a friend. And anyway, he's not gay (at least I don't think he's gay: he does were eye makeup and purple dress robes though… Actually, maybe Sirius does like men! He hasn't flirted with a single girl this year. Okay, I reckon that Sirius could be gay- almost certainly.) I must remain hopeful. I have to put on my new robes, go downstairs (I'm lying on my bed in our dorm and Sirius is in the common room) and ask Sirius to pierce my ear. Uh-Oh. I hope it doesn't hurt… too much…

~**Downstairs**~

"Padfoot, are you busy?" I ask tentatively, as I approach the brightly robed figure sitting reading an essay in his own handwriting and drinking tea. DRINKING TEA? When did Sirius start drinking tea?

He nods but doesn't bother looking up. "What is it I can help you with?"

I sit down on the arm of his armchair. I'm trembling slightly from being in such close contact with the object of my affections. Sirius smells just like I'd imagine he's taste (I hope he can't read minds or he'd be disgusted) sort of warm and spicy. Unconsciously I'm breathing in his scent and leaning slightly closer towards him.

Finally, he looks up from his essay and fixes his gaze on me. "What was it you wan-". His eyes take in my new hair colour. I await his verdict nervously. "I love your hair," he eventually says in a slightly breathless tone. I should be happy about this but I only feel a brief flood of bitterness. 'Shame you don't love me as well, Sirius,' I can't help thinking. Then I find myself looking into his eyes and all bitterness is replaced with pure unconditional love for the young man before me.

I try to remember what I came for. "Does someone in your family own a jewellery shop in Hogsmeade?" I ask.

Sirius nods. "My half-cousin, Carmen bought the shop this summer. She's about the only decent relative I have. How come you want to know?"

I breathe deeply and nerve myself. Then I hold out the tiny earring that I bought earlier. "I want you to pierce my ear, Sirius."


	4. Surgical Spirit

A huge thanks goes to: Gwen Potter, Cobalt Violet, Demus (cheers babe!), Smudged, Gami (And who says Professor Snape is evil! He's a damn good character and I love him to pieces! *ahem*), Huan the Wolfhound, Celtic Bard, Sugar (beginner slash? Can you tell that?), Dragon of Sakura, madkornfan, ketchup and mustard, Sugar Hi, Erfaciel, thearequeen277, Senya Starseeker and LadyLyra. That's a lot of reviews! Please keep it up!

This chapter picks straight up where the last left off…

**~Sirius' POV, 6th September~**

"I want you to pierce my ear, Sirius."

WHAT! Remus wants me to pierce his ear? I'm lost for words. I wonder if I've misheard him but no, he's holding out an earring in his soft palm.

"Can you pierce my ear, Siri?" he repeats when I don't answer. He's looking at me expectantly.

"I, well, erm…" Great answer, Sirius. Go ahead and impress him with you eloquence and quick thinking. I honestly don't know how to respond. I've never pierced anyone's ear before. Remus no doubt thinks that I pierced my own but I didn't- I went to Diagon alley and had it done in Magic Mick's Beauty Salon. 

"You know that I'm not advanced enough to use a specialised pain-killer spell?" I say.

Remus nods.

I honestly don't know what to do. I don't want to inflict any pain on poor Remus but, and this sounds selfish, I want to be close to Remus. I honestly can't think of a better way to get close to him than to lie him down on a bed, lean over him and stick a pin through his ear. Ouch. 

            "I'll do it, Remus, as long as you're sure that this is what you want… And you know that it'll hurt and that I'm not to blame for any-"

            "Thank you, Padfoot," he says sincerely. 

            "You're welcome," I mumble. 'I'll do anything for you,' I add mentally. 

            Remus is still looking at me as though waiting for instructions. "I'll go and get everything I need and you, uuummm, go and make yourself comfy upstairs." Remus dashes off and I'm left wondering what to do and trembling with excitement at the thought of that dear handsome werewolf being entirely at my mercy. 

            It's only now that Remus has gone that I can reflect on what has just happened. My first thought train runs something along the lines of this: Remus has dyed his hair- my God! It looks gorgeous- and he wants his ear pierced- how strange. It seems as though Remus is turning to glam rock- I bet he'd look gorgeous in eyeliner… 

**~Upstairs~ **

"Are you sure about this?" I ask Remus as soon as I'm through the door. I'm beginning to sound like a broken record.

"I've never been more sure about anything," replies Remus with a shy smile. For just a second I allow myself to fantasise about Remus saying those words to me under different circumstances. I think about what it would be like if Remus were truly my own- a secret relationship, midnight walks, stolen kisses and waking up by his side every morning of every day (I seem to remember reading somewhere that werewolves mate for life- suits me fine!)

"Am I alright here?" Remus is asking me. He's sat on his bed and I notice that his hands are clenched together as though he's afraid.

"Yeah, that's great. And try to relax, it'll be fine." Remus leans back on the pillows propped against his headboard, evidently trying to relax. I doubt he'd manage it so well if he knew that my hands are trembling even as I clutch a magically cleaned pin, a bottle of surgical spirit, cotton wool and my watch, which for the benefit of ear piercing I've transfigured into a non-melting ice cube. I dip the cotton wool in the surgical spirit and perching on the end of Remus' bed I lean towards him and reach out to run the surgical spirit over his ear-

"Ouch!"

"Remus, I haven't done anything yet!"

"Sorry, I was just bracing myself for pain," admits Remus sheepishly.

"Really. So what do you think we'll be doing next full moon?" I ask him (he has to be distracted somehow) while I carefully place the surgical spirit on his bedside table and start to numb his ear with ice.

"The same as always. We'll run round Hogsmeade and try not to hurt anybody," says Remus. I just nod and deciding the ear is suitable numb, I reach for the pin-

"What are you doing?" asks Remus suspiciously. I lean forward until my head is just inches away from his- I can hear his breathing is rapid and uneven. He turns to face me and- why does he have this effect on me? - His warm chocolate brown eyes captivate me. He smells clean, of soap and laundered clothes but also vaguely of butterbeer and of pipe smoke (he must have been in the Three Broomsticks today). I have the most overwhelming desire to push him down so he's lying beneath me and to kiss him and _Hell_, I could be wrong but I'm beginning to wonder if Remus Lupin doesn't want me to kiss him, he's so close. A strand of my hair is trailing over his face and any second our lips will meet, any second… The pin is poised above his ear… and out lips are almost touching-

"Shit! Oh-oh, BLOODY HELL, PADFOOT! OW! I wasn't ready for it," moans Remus. Then he shuts up as though he's afraid that I'll think he's a coward. 

"Hush," I say, gently mopping up the blood (and only a tiny bit at that!) Then I ease the earring through his ear and admire my handiwork. Not bad at all.

As much as I still want to lay him back on the bed and ravish the poor werewolf, I'm afraid that it might look like I'm taking advantage. Instead, I drag him over to a mirror and let him take a look. He peers at his reflection for a couple of minutes as though he's not quite sure that it's actually him and then turns and grins at me. "It didn't hurt that much," he says casually but he still looks pale and slightly ill (although maybe he's pale because his best MALE friend nearly kissed him). He also looks stunning. Absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. And I still love him _so _much.

But the trouble is that he doesn't look like the Remus J. Lupin that I'm used to anymore. 


	5. Fleeting Kiss

A huge thanks goes to: Ginny-Weasley, Roz, Demus, Smudged, Lain-Xauber, madkornfan, Gypsy Lupin-Black, Celtic Bard, The Demonic Duo, Gwen Potter, AnnabelleRaye,  ScullyCat Marie, I r8ped Riddle, Miyoko Rikuri, theatrequeen217, ScreamingFlower and Erfaciel. Cheers guys!

**~Remus' POV, Dreaming, 8th September~**

James is at quidditch practice. Peter is watching him. And Sirius is sat shirtless on his bed, trying to transfigure an apple into an orange. I come and sit next to him with the intention of helping him transfigure the apple, only I find myself staring at his chest- a beautiful expanse of pale, creamy skin covering lean, tough muscle. Then my mouth runs away with me-    

"I love you, Sirius. You and only you."

My God, I said it! And Sirius doesn't look disgusted, in fact, what is that expression on his face? Happiness? Love? It's love!

"I love you too, Remus. I never thought- I mean, I never would have dreamed- Oh, God Remus, I-"

"Kiss me, Sirius." 

And that's that. Soft lips pressed against my own at first with such tenderness and then more earnestly. And my hands can touch his bare skin and run freely through his silky hair. Heaven. My shirt is lying discarded on the floor before I know it and Sirius is straddling me, while gently kissing my jaw. 

"I love you, dear, darling werewolf," he croons.

"Please, Sirius. Sirius," I murmur. "Sirius!" 

The world fades to blackness.

**            ~Waking~**

"Sirius!"

"Remus, Moony…"

I wake up with a start. Somebody is whispering my name. 

"Remus, what is it? Are you okay?" It's Sirius. "Why were you crying my name?"

Oh, hell. I suddenly remember my dream. I must have been crying out Sirius' name in my sleep. Oh Mon Dieu! What must he be thinking? 

It was such a beautiful dream, though. 

"Remus, did you have a nightmare? You can tell me." Somehow Sirius is sat on the end of my bed, topless I might add, and playing with the bed sheets. "I'm worried about you," he says but he can't seem to meet my eyes. He's probably worried about when I nearly kissed him yesterday as he pierced my ear.

I don't trust myself to speak. Sirius is so perfect that he could never like someone like me, someone who has to pretend to have had a nightmare rather than admit to the semi-erotic dream he has just had about his best friend.

"What was your dream about?"

"I ummm… yes, well, it hmmmm…" I stammer. 

"Come on, Remus. Do you remember that dream I had about the Dementer with three heads? It can't be any worse than that."

"It was the giant squid," I lie, "I was swimming in the lake and then it came and swallowed me!" Bloody awful nightmare. Couldn't I have thought of something more intelligent? Or scarier?

But to my surprise Sirius envelops me into a big bear hug. His naked torso is pressed against mine and he feels so  incredibly warm. His hair is tickling my neck and for just a second I fancy he kisses my head. Then the moment has passed and he's disappeared into the darkness across the room. Did he really kiss my head or did I imagine it? Maybe I imagined the hug as well? No, it was definitely real. Sirius just hugged me for the second time in… seven days!

"I love you, Sirius Black," I murmur, so quietly that a moth would have trouble hearing me. 

~**Owl Post, the following morning~**

James and Peter are fighting over a piece of crusty bread. It's just another normal breakfast on Monday morning. Only it isn't normal at all. Sirius is reading a huge book entitled 'Charm Your Way To Good Grades' and I'm fingering my very sore ear and twiddling with the earring. I keep sneaking looks at Sirius- I can't help wondering if he's the same boy that nearly kissed me on Saturday night or held me to his bare chest on Sunday night and kissed my forehead. He hasn't given me a glance all morning. I wonder if he's embarrassed. 

"How much of 'Charm Your Way To Good Grades' have you read, Padfoot," teases James.

"499 pages," mumbles Sirius without looking up.

James looks at Peter and shrugs. "I don't know what you did to him on Saturday night, Moony, but he's been quiet ever since!"

"WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" I blurt out. Oh bugger. Sirius had looked up from his book at last and he looks different. He isn't wearing eye makeup! In fact, he's wearing a black cloak instead of the usual electric blue or deep purple. I start to feel slightly self-conscious in my brand new emerald green robes and dark eyeliner.

James and Peter are laughing. "So what were you doing on Saturday night?" asks James in a sickly-sweet voice.

"Nothing," I say, blushing madly at the very thought of almost kissing Sirius.

Peter nudges James and says in a hideous voice, "I think little Remie's got a girlfriend…" He makes a kissing noise. "Now who could it be? Cassandra Lloyd? Lily Evans? - Oh, sorry James- how about Lucy O' Sullivan? Or maybe it's-"

"STOP TEASING HIM!" snaps Sirius, glaring at Peter over his book before reverting to a moody silence.

"Ooooohhhh… Who got out of the wrong side of bed this morning?" laughs James. Then he looks up at the ceiling and grins. "Owl post, Gentlemen!" A ruffled looking tawny owl lands in Sirius' cup of (tepid) tea. He takes the letter off it and holds it out to me. Our hands brush as I take the letter and my eyes seek out his. Once again his startlingly clear gaze captures me. And I read something in his look- he acknowledges what happened between us over the weekend and he nods gently. I think he's telling me that he likes me but I can't be sure. I drop his gaze and tear open the letter.

_Dear Remus, _

_                   It's terrible- your father has been taken ill with sleeping sickness. You have to get to France as soon as possible. I have sent an owl to the headmaster, to tell him that you will be leaving before lessons on Monday morning. The International Wizard Transport organisation have arranged a flying taxi to arrive outside the Hogwart's main gate at half past nine- you can make your own way there. The taxi will fly you directly to the Wizarding Hospital of Paris (your father was working there when he fell ill)._

_        All my love, Mum xx_

_P.S. Pack enough clothes to last for a couple of weeks._

Hell and damnation! I can't leave! Not when I think Sirius and I have a chance. I can't go! 

"What is it Remus?" asks James. His teasing voice is now replaced with quiet concern. I hand him the letter to read. James then hands it to Peter who passes it to Sirius. 

"Your poor father," says James. 

"You must be so worried," adds Peter.

"A COUPLE OF BLOODY WEEKS! You can't go! Two whole weeks!" Sirius cries. I stare at him. James and Peter stare at him. "I have to get my charms text book," he adds, getting up and jogging out of the hall.

"I guess I ought to be packing," I say heavily and walk slowly up to the dormitory. I'm not too worried about my father: sleeping sickness is rather painful and, of course, he won't be able to go to sleep for a few weeks without having a fit, but it rarely ends in death. Besides, thoughts of Sirius are occupying my mind. I don't know where I stand with him anymore. Sometimes I think that he likes me romantically but then I'll remember what the old Sirius was like- obsessed with beautiful girls and fast broomsticks. Could Sirius ever love me? I just don't know.

**~Outside~**

Normally I would be in lessons now. Paired with Peter for charms and looking forward to Transfiguration when I'm paired with Sirius. The sun is shining but I barely notice as I trail through the Hogwarts Grounds with my trunk levitating behind me. I can't remember feeling this depressed since my friends discovered I was a werewolf and I thought I was going to lose them. I reach the Hogwarts main gate and a lime green taxi is waiting outside.

"Remus! Moony, wait!" 

Sirius runs up to me panting. "I'm so sorry about what I said at breakfast it was insensitive and-"

"It doesn't matter," I say dismissively. "Why aren't you in lessons?"

"I came after you," replies Sirius stating the obvious. "I hope you dad is okay- sleeping sickness isn't life-threatening is it?"

"No. I don't know why they want me to-"

"I HAVEN'T GOT ALL YEAR TO SPEND WAITING FOR LOVERS TO SAY THEIR TEARFUL GOODBYES!" yells the taxi driver through a wound-down window. 

"I have to go now, Sirius," I say. 

"FOR GOD'S SAKE GIVE HIM A KISS AND HURRY UP!" The taxi driver clearly thinks we're a couple.

Sirius is looking at me expectantly. I should kiss him. And I want to, I really do! But I'm afraid he'll turn away. What should I do?

"Bye, Sirius." He's looking at me awkwardly as if expecting something. I stand on tiptoe and give him a fleeting kiss on the cheek before heading to the taxi. 

There is a peculiar tickling sensation at the back of my throat as though I'm about to cry. It takes all my effort to remember that I'm only going to be gone for two weeks. 

Only, two weeks without Sirius feels like eternity.  
  
 


	6. Fire Beacons

I must thank the following people who I love loads: Ani-Bananie, theatrequeen217, Miyoko Rikuri, Gwen Potter, ScullyCat Marie, Gypsy Lupin-Black, Yumi, Daine Yuy (Sirius will be wearing tight leather pants in either chapter eight or nine- just for you!), Wildwolf (thank you for poking me until I updated), CelestialDragn (I write my stories in Microsoft Word and then click 'save as web page'. This means that all the bold and italics, not to mention the paragraphing, comes out exactly as it is in the document- it's the only way I know), ryuichi, The Demonic Duo, Midnight, Demus, Vela-chan, The Brat Prince and Yasuke. 

**~Sirius' POV, Monday 15th September~**

One week without my beloved has been one week of banishment to a lonely, dreary, icy, Hell.

"Remus, Remus, Remus," I murmur. I love the way his name sounds on my tongue. I'm sat on my bed trying to do my charms homework but without Remus Lupin to help me, I'm failing miserably. I can conjure a picture of the werewolf in my mind's eye that is as clear as if he stood before me but it is no consolation for his absence. 

I miss him so much. Suddenly, I have the strangest desire to draw him but I know I could never do him justice. Besides, I'm crap at drawing. Instead I start to write a poem and soon I find my quill is scribbling across the parchment with a momentum of its own.

My Remus [I write] I love your amber eyes, which can light my path: 

_            Two great fire-beacons shining bright._

_            The warm soothing sound of your laugh,_

_            Will always set my world alight._

_            Your silky voice makes butter melt,_

_            As well as my too eager heart._

_            I love your young body, so smooth and soft._

_            Whenever you touch me I start._

_            I love your gentle face, alive with mirth,_

_            Or creased into a frown,_

_            But best of all is still your eyes:_

_            Deep pools in which a man can drown._

I throw the pen down. The poem doesn't do Remus justice either but it'll have to do. I sit for a further minute reading my work and wondering at what would happen if James read it by accident. 

            "Not a bad poem, really," James whispers in my ear. "Not bad at all. I think the rhythm's a bit dodgy on the second verse and the whole thing's a bit too mushy for my taste but all-in-all it's not a bad effort."

            I jump up and face him angrily. He has that bloody mischievous look on his face. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE-" I start to yell.

            James cuts me off. "I don't mind you being gay, Padfoot. I've known for ages. I just thought you might tell me of your own accord- we've been friends since we were children."

            "When did you-"

            "It was towards the end of last year that you started to look at Remus differently. Sort of like he was something that you owned and loved and wanted to protect. I thought you might be gay back then but I had no idea that you and Remus were together." He gestures at the poem he had been reading over my shoulder with a huge grin on his face.

            "We're not-"

            James interrupts. "I knew you were meant for each other. Something about the child of the moon and the boy named after a star…" James smiles at me again, only more shyly. 

            "We're not together," I say sadly and sit back down on the bed. James takes a seat next to me. "I love him so much that sometimes I can't stand it but I don't know how to tell him." Then I feel myself start to break down and for the first time since second year I have to hold back tears. " You need to help me, mate, I just don't know what to think."

            James bites his bottom lip and stairs towards Remus' empty bed as though deep in thought. Then he seems to come to a decision. "You know, Sirius, I think he loves you too." 


	7. Silken Strands

Thank you Demus (my darling…), ScullyCat Marie (erm… I love you too!), fuzzyfishbowl, Gypsy Lupin-Black, Smudged, Cobalt Violet, Wildwolf, freakyfairy, Wicked Chic, Vela-Chan (Cheers! And I haven't got any criticism for this particular story… yet!), Chloe-Wagner (I hope you'll give other slash a chance- it's damn good when well-written!), Miyoko Rikuri, Gwen Potter, Pooki Ze Great (I've read some Merry/Pippin slash by you haven't I? I love Merry/Pippin angst), demonic duo, fran and liz (hey, its only been three days since I updatedJ). THANK YOU!

**~Remus' POV, Full Moon, Tuesday 16th September~**

I'm in a dark room in the basement of the Wizarding Hospital of Paris. The room is exactly four metres squared and the floor, walls and ceiling are all covered in black padding. On the outside of the magically- reinforced door is a sign bearing the words: 'TRANSFORMATION ROOM: STAFF ONLY' and underneath this a larger sign bears a picture of a wolf with huge, blood-dripping fangs reads 'EXTREME LIKLIHOOD OF DEATH PAST THIS POINT'. 

            I feel a faint tingling in my fingers and know the time has come to transform.

            A few more aching moments and my legs have started to tremble violently. The room begins to shift in and out of focus. The hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stand on end. My muscles contract as my skin stretches agonisingly. My wretched body convulses. I scream. Shining gold-grey hairs erupt along the length of my torso, my teeth lengthen as my fingernails transform into claws and the world slips into the startlingly sharp vision of the wolf. And I'm still screaming as I throw myself at one of the padded walls and fully become the wolf.

            _Trapped._

_            Where's Padfoot?_

_            Padfoot?_

_            PADFOOT!_

            _Where's my pack? The deer and the rat. The dog._

_            Trapped._

_            No pack._

_            No Padfoot._

_            I howl for my lost companion. My lost mate._

_            Moony wants Padfoot. _

****

**~The Following Afternoon ~**

"So what is it you were going to tell me?" I ask my father. I'm feeling exhausted and at my ease as I sit on the hard chair next to my dad's bed, I've been staying in the hospital for eight days- my dad can't possibly have anything new to tell me.

            The father in question is propped up by several pillows and every few seconds he suppresses a yawn. The sleeping sickness has left him looking pale and wasted. "You know I was working here in Paris when I fell ill?"  

            I nod and try not to yawn myself. I'm aching all over from last night's transformation and my right forearm has been bandaged where Moony ran his claw up it in a fit off loneliness.

            "I wasn't working," says my father. I smile gently at him. He deserved a holiday although it shouldn't have ended with him in hospital with sleeping sickness. "I was house-hunting," he finishes.

            "That's okay, I'm happy to spend my holidays in France," I reply. 

            "Don't you think it'd be nicer to live in France all year round?" he asks.

            "No, not really. Maybe when I'm older I'll live in France. You know I like it here but I have to finish my NEWTS."

            "Beauxbatons is a nice school," muses my father.  

            I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. "I'm sure it is," I agree.

            My father is quiet for a moment as he takes a sip form a glass of water on the bedside table. Then he shakes his head despairingly. "Don't you see it, Remus? Your mother and I want you to attend Beauxbatons for your remaining two years school. What do you say?"

            I can't say anything at all. Vaguely I imagine telling Sirius that I'm leaving. Impossible.

            "I can't go to Beauxbatons, father," I manage to say calmly at last.

            "Why not?"

            "I'm happy at Hogwarts. I have friends there." My darling Sirius.

            "You could make new friends at Beauxbatons, Remus. Your French is excellent," he's smiling at me expectantly.

            "Have Beauxbatons agreed to take a werewolf?" I ask. Of course not. 

            My dad shudders. He doesn't like the word 'werewolf'. "As a matter of fact, son, they already have a werewolf there. He's in the year below you. You could be good friends. Don't you think it would be nice for someone to understand how you feel?"

            "My friends understand how I feel," I plead. 

            "It's no good, Remus. I've contacted Beauxbatons. They are expecting you straight away," my father isn't smiling anymore. I think he's a bit upset by my lack of enthusiasm.

            "Father, you can't make-"

            "YOU ARE MY SON, REMUS LUPIN! I DIDN'T WANT MY SON TO BE BITTEN BY A WEREWOLF BUT I HAD TO PUT UP WITH IT. AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME? YOU'LL GO-"

            "I'll go to Beauxbatons," I say desperately and instantly regret it as a look of joy crosses my father's face. I just can't bear him to yell at me. "Please can I at least have until Christmas at Hogwarts? Please, father."

            He considers. "I suppose it isn't good to be letting you leave mid-term. Okay, you can stay at Hogwarts until Christmas." He groans. "I am tired but I cannot sleep, let me rest quietly, Remus."  
  


            I leave my father in the hospital ward and run down three flights of stairs to the ground floor and out through the main doors. I'm immediately surrounded by the hustle and bustle of Paris' wizarding community. I feel empty inside. How will I live without Sirius? Without his dazzling, earnest smile? His enthusiasm? His incredible love of life? His sparkling eyes? His tall slender body? "I love you, Sirius Black," I shout out just because I know I can. "Je t'aime," I add in French. Mentally I work out that I'm only expected to spend another week at the most with my father. I should be back at Hogwarts for Tuesday 23rd September. Back amongst my friends. Preparing to spend my last two months at Hogwarts.  

            "I'm leaving Hogwarts," I force myself to say as I try to let the words sink in. "I'm leaving Sirius."

**~Remus Lupin's Journal Tuesday 23rd September~**

            I'm currently soaring across Middle England in a lime-green flying taxi. Going home for the last time, you could say.

 My mother and father kissed both my cheeks in a decidedly French way as we parted. No great bone-crushing hugs like the sort James receives off his parents but still far nicer than the screaming partings of Sirius and his family. There's never been a great amount of affection between my parents and myself. Well, they might have loved me when I was very little and not a werewolf but since then there has been a small, quiet, gentle and rather reluctant affection between us. When I first arrived at the hospital fifteen days ago my mother, choosing to ignore my earring, dyed hair and bright robes, exclaimed "Remus, have you grown?" At the same time my father said calmly: "I don't know what you think you look like, Remus. It never would have happened in France, I tell you…" My point is that I sometimes wish they would care more. If James had got an earring his father would have moaned, groaned and eventually teased him (you look like one of those queers, Jamsie-lad!), while his mother would have fussed over him with numerous healing spells and bottles of butterbeer.

            Anyway, it doesn't matter now. I'm going back to Hogwarts and I won't have to see my parents for another two months. It should be nine months but I'm going to meet up with them after Christmas before I go to Beauxbatons. Beauxbatons. It may as well be called 'Bleak Hell Without Sirius Black' for all I care. My only hope is that I'll be able to write to the Marauders often and meet them in the holidays. I also keep reminding myself that wherever I go Sirius (the star) will be watching over me. It sounds tacky but it always brings me comfort to see Sirius the star beaming down on me from the heavens. But Sirius the star will always be inferior to Sirius the boy. 

            I cannot bring myself to write anymore. There is a painful lump in my throat forming and I think I may cry. Only I mustn't cry because it never solves anything. 

**~Late, Tuesday 23rd~**

The sky is starting to darken as the flying taxi bumps to a halt outside the Hogwarts main gate and I get out stiffly. The castle stands stark against the evening sky and its towers and turrets form a jutting silhouette. There is a distinct chill in the air and the grounds seem deserted. I half expect Sirius, James and Peter to come bounding towards me but nobody comes and I charm my heavy trunk to float behind me as I slowly wander up to the castle.

            "Woof!"

            The bark cuts through the quiet night like a dagger and the sight of a large black dog bounding towards me quickly follows the sound. "Padfoot," I murmur but it is the last thing I say before the dog leaps on top of me and knocks me to the ground with great enthusiasm. I scratch behind the dog's ears and for the first time in over two weeks, laugh as the great pink tongue licks my face. Being with Sirius is almost as much fun when he's a dog. Still, I try half-heartedly to escape from underneath the huge animagus before Padfoot licks and crushes me to death. 

            "Off, Padfoot! No stop it! Sirius, I have to –nooooo- talk to you about something." 

            Suddenly, the dog disappears and in its place sits a slender dark-haired boy with a massive grin across his face. I can't help but grin as well as all my sadness evaporates in this one moment of pure joy. I don't even care that Sirius is leaning over my, straddling my hips as I once saw him do in a dream. I only feel happy as Sirius pulls me into a half-sitting position and holds me to him. I think I can feel his heart beating against my chest as he holds me and it strikes me as a very intimate thing to feel somebody's heart beating against your own. His hair covers my face and I kiss the silken strands as if this is something we normally do. "Remus," he whispers in my ear so it tickles. "I want to say-"

            "SIRIUS BLACK! YOU WERE MEANT TO BE IN DETENTION TWENTY MINUTES AGO!" bellows Professor Death out Potions teacher. 

            Sirius climbs off me and helps me up before smiling sheepishly (and perhaps with the slightest trace of fear) at me. Then he runs into the night after the irate Professor Death and I am left plodding towards the castle with my levitating trunk. Alone. Then I look up at the sky where the stars are beaming down on me. Sirius shines brightly. Not quite alone. 

~~~

            _Coming Up: a rather wet Remus, a bit more James, some real Sirius/Remus and a Halloween party. All in the next few chapters… Hopefully… REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_


	8. That's That

30 reviews for the last chapter! Did I ever mention that I love my reviewers!! I especially love the following people: Rachel Molko and Cecil (who are to be thanked twice for reviewing twice! Double love to you both!) I r8ped riddle, ScullyCat Marie, Vela-Chan, Fran, The Demonic Duo, Mishi, Jasina, Wicked Chic, Lady Sundig (an especially lovely review- thanks!), Fimbrethil (yes, I love you too…), Demus (hugs and kisses babe), Lizzy, Bunny, weltenauge (another happy chapter right here), Gypsy Lupin-Black, Roz, Gwen Potter, freakyfairy, Louis, madkornfan, Chloe-Wagner, Genny, Yukerei, I give it all to Mr. Black (great pen name!), CarpeNoctem17 and Erfaciel (actually Sirius isn't going to be wearing leather pants for two more chapters… but there will be cute fluff to make up for it!)  

**~ Sirius' POV, Wednesday 24th September~**

I'm having one of those dreams that are so good that you never want to wake up. Remus and I are alone on a deserted tropical beach- the sound of the lapping waves is soothing and the spectacular pulchritude of the sunset sweeps across the sky in a thousand dazzling shades of red and orange. Remus and I lying side by side in the soft sand and are hands are entwined together. Remus sits up and leaning over me, he kisses me tenderly. 

"Sirius!"

            "Go away," I mumble. I hate it when people disturb my sleep.

            "Are you awake, Sirius?" hisses James.

            "I am now," I say and open one eye to find James Potter kneeling over my bed, inches away from my face. "What is it?" I growl.

            "I wanted to talk to you. Alone. Please…"

            I open my other eye and glare at James. "Go on then."

"Remus is back, Sirius! Remus is here!" James grins at me.

 "I know- I saw him last night," I reply, but this time I can't quite keep the smile off my face. 

"Did anything happen?" asks James with an even bigger grin.

"No. Professor Death sort of interrupted us, if you know what I mean," I say dryly.

James is still grinning. "So if the charming Professor Death hadn't interrupted do you think something would have happened?"

I think about it. Remus was kissing my hair last night. This can only mean one of two things: either Remus likes me or my shampoo smells _really _good. I actually think Remus likes me! James is waiting for an answer to his question and I nod. "Yes, James, I think something would have happened between us."

"Duelling club's on tonight," says James.

I don't quite see what that has to do with Remus or me. I smirk. "Your going to duelling club? How sweet, Jamsie-boy."

"Nah, I'm not going to duelling club, Siri-baby! I'm running duelling club. And Peter's my assistant."

"That's nice for you," I say.

James looks at me as if I'm stupid. "Don't you see? Pretty much the whole of Gryffindor is going to duelling club except you and Remus. You're going to be alone with Remus for nearly two hours! And the dorm will be empty!"

James is right. It presents me with the perfect opportunity to tell Remus how I feel. I'm nervous already. "It isn't that simple, James! I… well… it isn't just… erm…" I sigh. "You know I've had a lot of girlfriends? Well, I've never had a boyfriend. I've never kissed a boy or anything. What if it's different? What if I'm no good?" 

James nods sympathetically. I begin to realise what a great mate he is. "Just tell him, Padfoot. You'll be great and he'll love you for who you are."

"Thanks James. I'll do it tonight."

I roll out of bed and stand up. The time on the muggle alarm clock next to my bed reads 06:59. I'm about to get dressed when I notice that James is still standing awkwardly next to my bed. "Well, what is it now?" I ask. But James doesn't say anything. Instead he steps towards me and plants a quick kiss on my lips. Then he steps away from me and he no longer looks awkward. 

"What did you do that for?" I ask incredulously. Until a couple of weeks ago, I thought James was the straightest man on earth. 

"Nothing, really. I just wanted you to have kissed a guy so that you wouldn't be so nervous tonight." He smiles. "Can I copy your muggle studies homework now?"

**~Potions With Professor Death~**

Only ten minutes of potions left. Ten long minutes and then it's the end of school. After that it's four hours to duelling club. And then I'm going to tell Remus how I feel.

I steal a glance at Remus. His face is bathed in the green light from his softly simmering potion and he's looking at me. As soon as we realise that we're looking at each other we both look down. This has been happening all day. Except at breakfast and lunch when Remus didn't turn up. He says he was busy but I don't know if I believe him. I'm beginning to have doubts about how he feels about me. What if when on the station platform he held me to him like he never wanted to let go, and again when I hugged him after his nightmare, he was just being friendly? What if when I nearly kissed him as I pierced his ear, he was oblivious to my advances? What is he only kissed me goodbye because the taxi driver told him to? And what if he kissed my hair because that's what the French do to their _friends_?

I have to tell him how I feel, though. I promised James I would.

There's only two minutes of potions left. As if on cue, Remus decanters some potion into a bottle and neatly clears away his cauldron. A few seconds later my potion explodes, covering me in green slime. 

"MR BLACK! HAVE YOU NOT BEEN CONCENTRATING AT ALL! YOU SHOULD HAVE ADDED POWDERED NEWTS TAILS BEFORE BOILING!" screams Professor Death. 

Oh dear.

"Detention tonight, Mr Black!"

I stare at Professor Death. James stares at Professor Death. Please no, I think. Not tonight.

"Actually, I am busy with the Hufflepuff detentions tonight, Mr Black. I think tomorrow night would be far more convenient," says Professor Death with a cruel leer. I let out a sigh and hear James doing the same next to me. "Class is ended," says Professor Death. 

James starts to decanter some of his potion into a bottle. I look at my green slime. "Bugger this," I say and casually wave the wand so the mess vanishes. 

"Sirius, you won't get any marks at all for your potion now," protests Remus, as he appears between James and myself.

I shrug and try not to stare at his beautiful face. 

"About duelling club, James, I-" begins Remus.

"YOU CAN'T COME!" snaps James.

"Well, actually, I was going to apologise because I can't come, James. There's no need to snap at me. Why don't you want me there?"  
  


"Because I'll get embarrassed," lies James as the three of us head to the common room. 

**~Later~**

James was right when he said that nearly every Gryffindor would go to his duelling club. The common room is almost empty except for the slight figure of Remus Lupin hunched over a herbology essay. 

"Can I talk to you?" I ask him.

Remus looks up at me and nods. "I actually wanted to talk to you-tonight when we could be alone."

We move to an old settee near the huge blazing fire. 

"I have to say-" I begin.

"I want to tell you-" says Remus at the same time.

There is a moment of heavy silence. You first," says Remus eventually.

I have my speech prepared. I just have to be brave and say it. "Remus, we've been friends for over five years and that friendship has always meant a lot to me. And whatever happens between us, _whatever_, I hope that we'll always be friends. James once described us as 'brothers' and until the end of last year I thought that was true but now- now, I can't help but think that maybe there's something more to be had. I'm gay, Remus. I first realised that when I began to fall for my best friend. When I began to fall for you, in fact, and I hope against hope that you feel the same way for me." 

I try to read what Remus is thinking but his expression is thoughtful and calm but he's looking at the floor and not at me. At least he hasn't run away screaming, I think. 

I decide to just kiss him and see if I get a response. I gently lift up his chin with my index finger and force him to meet my eyes. Then I slowly lean forward and prepare to kiss him. At the last moment Remus stands up, looks at me for a second, then turns and sprints up the stairs. 

I watch him go with a sinking feeling in my stomach. Can I leave it like this? Leave our love and friendship hanging in the balance? No. With a few furtive glances at the only occupants of the common room- solely comprising two timid first years who are staring openly at me with wide eyes, I follow Remus up to the dormitory.  

I knock on the door. "Remus?" I call. 

"Come on in, Siri." It's funny- he doesn't sound remotely upset. When I enter the room my eyes immediately fall on Remus' four-poster bed where he is lying. Only my view is obscured by a shimmering mass, which as I peer closer I discover to be a constant falling of millions of tiny pieces of purple glitter from the ceiling. The effect is magical. Each piece of glitter vanishes just before it hits the floor or the highest object in its path.

"How did you-" I begin to ask.

"I bought a tub of purple glitter at Hogsmeade, though at the time I didn't know why. Then I charmed it to fall in a continuous shower from the ceiling using the 'snow charm' we were taught last year. And I've used the 'protego incantation' in conjunction with the 'vanishing charm' to make each piece of glitter vanish before it hits the bed or-" he blushes sweetly- "the people on the bed. It took me all day."

I laugh. "Actually I was going to say 'how did you get to be so beautiful?'"

Remus laughs too but he sounds nervous. "I'm sorry I ran off. It's just that I'd worked hard and I wanted this to be perfect," he says seeking my approval. 

"It is," I reply. Then I walk the remaining three strides across the room and sit down on his bed. Remus sits up next to me, I rest my hand on his, and then we just look at each other. I try to print in my memory how Remus looks right now- with thousands of pieces of glitter disappearing just before they hit him, his liquid eyes staring at me, amber forelock trailing across soft milk and honey coloured skin, and a shy half-smile playing on his lips. 

The half-smile turns into an impish little grin. "Are you going to kiss me then? I've been to all this trouble and-" 

He doesn't finish his sentence because my lips are pressed against his. I kiss him softly at first, then more earnestly and then almost frantically. His lips are soft. I feel one of his hands snaking up my shirt and tracing the muscles of my bare back, while the other lies dormant under my own hand.

"This has to be right," Remus gasps as we break apart. 

"It is. Definitely," I say and flash him a reassuring smile, which quickly turns into a broad, ecstatic grin. "Even James said we were meant for each other: the moon-child and the boy named after a star." 

Remus laughs. "Well, if James said so…" 

He kisses me and soon I'm lost as his tongue dances with mine and he lowers me down on top of him, while his warm hand strokes my back and my free hand runs though his flame-coloured hair. 

And that's that.


	9. Not Beauxbatons?

Thanks to the following kind people: CarpeNoctem17, Wildwolf, Lizzy (plenty more chapters yet!), Vela-chan, Bunny, Gwen Potter, LadyWillow (please don't worship me- just review!), Pooki Ze Great (my longest review yet- Well done!), Suga Hi (Cheers!), Lady Sundig, Demus, Jasini, Uozumi, Give the World for Mr. Black (great pen name…), Rachel Molko (triple love and hugs for reviewing!), The Demonic Duo, nekohebi, freakyfairy, Louis, Gypsy Lupin-Black, Wicked Chic, WeaselGirl, Yukerei, aims80, Mishi, RainbowCarnage, Silmarien (I hope the delay hasn't caused too much pain!), QueenSmithy, Spooky, Erfaciel, Icewing and Cecil.

A special mention to SkullyCat Marie who has bought a dangling silver star earring like the one Remus has. I love that!

**Authors note: **I've been away on an engineering course for six days and for a while before that I couldn't get access to fanfiction.net. So that accounts for the delay with this chapter. Secondly, I'm going to Spain for ten days tomorrow and I wont have any computer access. Sorry! After that the chapters will come thick and fast- I promise. The thing about Remus' _silver_ earring will be explained later in the story.****

**~Remus' POV, Thursday 25th September~**

I wake up on my bed with the curtains closed around it. I'm wearing the same clothes as yesterday and it takes me a second to realise why the curtains are closed as I'm scared of the dark and usually need to see the magic glow light that Sirius and I share. I seem to be curled up in a position that suggests that somebody has been curled around me. _Sirius_. I feel a glow of warmth inside me when I remember last night. How we kissed tentatively at first and then more passionately, and all the time the glitter rained down. I remember how it felt to be able to hold him and not pretend that we are just friends. I also remember how Sirius stopped my ever-roaming hands and told me that he wanted to take it slowly, how he wanted our relationship to be special and not a meaningless fling and that he would love it if I would let him hold me. I must have fallen asleep quickly encased in his strong arms. 

I also wonder where Sirius is as right now. I've always had a desire to wake up in somebody's arms and I'm disappointed that I can't be in Sirius' this minute. So feeling incredibly happy and slightly lonely I climb out of bed and change into some clean clothes. When I pull the curtains back form round my bed I find James and Peter are playing wizards' chess, and I realise that Peter doesn't know that Sirius and I are gay, and so Sirius couldn't be seen to be getting out of my bed this morning. 

"Hello," I say, grinning at my two friends. I just can't stop smiling!

"Did you sleep well?" asks James with a glance at Sirius' bed. I get the feeling that there is a hidden meaning behind his words.

"We did, thank you," I say and then bite my tongue. _We_! I said 'we' slept well! I am such an idiot.

James realises my slip-up and smiled broadly. "That's great! Bloody brilliant!" he exclaims while Peter looks on, puzzled. James has guessed what happened between Sirius and myself, and he looks genuinely happy. My grin broadens even more. 

"What time is it?" I ask Peter who is wearing a watch.

"Ten O'clock," he says, squinting at the chessboard before ordering a knight to tackle one of James' pawns.

"TEN O'CLOCK! We should have started lessons an hour ago," I cry.  

James and Peter exchange a glance. "Didn't you know, mate? It's the 25th September," says James. I look at him blankly. "It's the Ministry of Magic Founding Day. A national wizarding holiday!" 

Fabulous. Perfect. A whole day off school with Sirius! I love the people who founded the Ministry of Magic on this date! 

"I'm going to be at quidditch practice all day, Moony, and Peter's my assistant. I guess you and Sirius will have to find something to do together…" says James with a wicked smile. He turns to Peter. "Duelling club was quite a-"

I never got to find out exactly what duelling club was because at that moment a bout of very loud singing erupted form the shower attached to our dormitory. The voice is strong and tuneful but slightly out of timing and I immediately know it belongs to Sirius. I recognise the tune as being 'You're all I'll ever need' by the 'Magic Mushrooms':

"-_I've known you for years _

_And just been your friend,_

_Through good times and bad,_

_My love didn't end._

_            It didn't end-_

_You're all I've ever wanted,_

_You're all I'll ever need._

_You take away the pain now,_

_You're all I'll ever need._

_And baby, you're my hero,_

_You're all I'll ever need._

_You're all I'll ever need._

_            All I'll ever need._

The singing stops, Peter looks at James who shrugs. "He doesn't usually sing in the shower," muses Peter before glancing at the chessboard to discover that James has just won the game. "Damn! You've beaten me again!" he moans.

"Let's go to breakfast, Pete, and then straight to quidditch. We've got a lot of work to be getting on with."

I watch James and Peter go, and wait for Sirius to come out of the shower. I make a mental note to thank James for cheating at chess so he could win and get Peter out of our way- it certainly makes everything a lot easier. Sirius appears through the door to the small bathroom. He's only wearing a white towel wrapped round his waist and his shoulder length inky hair hangs wet and wavy. When he sees me he stops and takes a deep breath.

"Good morning," he says.

"Nice singing," I reply with a cautious smile. 

We stare at each other. I'm feeling a strong sense of longing seeing Sirius in that towel and consider saying I don't care about going slowly. I _want_ him. I want him now. But then I think about how long I want this relationship to last, and I know that taking it easy is the best thing for both of us. "I'll be in the common room," I say and prepare to let Sirius get dressed in privacy. I even walk to the door before two toned arms snake around my waist and Sirius presses me against his damp skin. "Missed me?" he whispers in my ear.

"Too much," I say truthfully. Then I turn around and kiss him firmly on the lips. His wet hair is dripping down the collar of my shirt but I don't care. I've never been kissed like this before- gently but passionately at the same time. I moan softly and shiver as one of Sirius' slender hands massages the back of my neck. "You like that?" he murmurs and continues for a second longer before pulling away.

"I have a surprise for you," he says with a happy expression on his face. 

**~Later~**

Sirius and I are sat on the far side of the side of the lake form the castle; a few hundred yards away from the Forbidden Forest. The wind is biting cold but I'm wrapped up in several layers of clothing and have managed to get a nice magical fire burning a few yards away. Sirius has prepared a surprise picnic- God, I love him so much!

"Champagne, monsieur?" asks Sirius, in a bad French accent.

"Oui, s'il te plait," I answer and Sirius pours the pale bubbly liquid into a champagne flute. He hands it to me and I take a sip. It tastes expensive. 

"It's called 'Champagne des Reves'," says Sirius. "What does that mean?"

"Champagne of dreams," I answer. Then I smile encouragingly at him. "This is lovely, Sirius."

"Ham sandwich?" asks Sirius. I take one. It really is kind of him to have gone to all this effort but I'm starting to feel a little guilty. I haven't told him I'm going to Beauxbatons yet. I know I should but I don't want to spoil the first bit of happiness I've had since I fell in love with Sirius. 

Sirius is watching me closely. "I want to talk to you, Remus," he says.

"Go ahead," I reply.

"At the beginning of this year I realised that I wanted something more than the close friendship we've always shared. I knew, or thought I knew, what you were like and- this sounds stupid- I decided that the best way to get your attention would be to become more like you. I tried to be calmer, smarter, and kinder; I studied more, drank tea and even listened to classical music. And I've been wondering, Remus, if it made any difference to how you felt about me."

I stare at him incredulously. "You, you, changed, just for… You thought I, w-would like you better if you became more like me-" I stammer. He nods anxiously. "Sirius, darling," I say and leaning towards him I kiss him. "I wouldn't care if you listened to hard rock music, drank coffee, were neurotic and didn't study at all. It wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference to how I've felt about you over the last few months." 

I laugh for a moment before continuing. "Why do you think I got the earring, the coloured robes, the make up and all that glitter? Why do you think I dyed my hair red?! It wasn't because I liked glam rock. It was because I wanted you to notice me!"

Sirius has started to laugh as well. "Then I can go back to all the glam rock stuff and you can return to just being Remus," he says with a grin.

"Actually, I think I'll keep the earring. I've sort of grown attached to it…" I confess. 

Sirius reaches out and knocks me playfully. I discard the ham sandwich I'm clutching and allow myself to be lowered down to the ground where a passionate Sirius Black leans over me and kisses my neck. "My dear Remus," he says before sitting up and surveying me.

"I love you," I say to him in a fleeting carefree moment. Sirius doesn't reply. I sit up in shock. My heart skips a beat as he stares at me, with his eyes wide. Who said anything about _love? _I've probably scared him off. I know Sirius isn't used to long-term relationships- he's probably never even thought about love before. 

"You love me?" asks Sirius slowly.

"Yes," I say in a small voice and wait for Sirius to freak out.

However, Sirius starts to grin so broadly that I'd imagine his face would split in half if he smiled any wider. "I love you too, Remus Lupin," he says so earnestly that my heart melts. Then he pulls me into a huge bear hug with such force that I fall into his lap. I've never felt this happy in my entire life. Sirius loves me. HE LOVES ME!!!

Only I have to be honest with him. The only way we can possibly have a long-term relationship is if we don't keep secrets from one another. I will tell Sirius about going to Beauxbatons right now. "Sirius," I begin. I'm still sitting in his lap and his hand is resting on my hip. "When I was in France my parents gave me some news. Bad news, I'm afraid."

Sirius face creases into a frown. "Go on then," he prompts.

"Okay. There's no really easy way to say this, Sirius, so bear with me. You met my parents last year so you know how stubborn they can be. Well, they're moving to France soon and-"

"Not Beauxbatons?" whispers Sirius.

I nod. 

"When are you leaving?" asks Sirius hoarsely. 

"Christmas," I say.

Sirius shakes me off his lap and begins to clear away the picnic he'd prepared. "I guess we'd better pack up for the day- the weather looks bad," he says stiffly. I notice that he resolutely avoids my eyes.

"Sirius, talk to me," I plead. A silent tear is sliding down my cheek as I look at the thing I'll miss most about Hogwarts. Sirius. "Come on, Padfoot. You've always been my best friend and now you're my lover as well. I need you to help me."

At last Sirius looks at me. Tears glisten in his bright eyes. "Listen, Remus, it isn't fair that you led me to expect endless happiness and then tell me this. You're my best friend too and I meant it when I said I loved you.  The trouble is I don't know if I should get any closer to you when I know that come Christmas you're going to break my heart. How am I supposed to live without you, Remus? I don't think I can."

I feel wretched. How could it be that a few minutes ago I was on cloud nine and now I feel awful- sort of empty. I'm about to get up and leave, when Sirius stops me.

"Don't walk away, Remus. Please don't leave me. I was lying to myself when I even thought I could not get close to you. We've only got three months today until Christmas and damn it, if they're not the best three months of your life, then I've failed." Sirius pulls me towards him and I nestle where I was before in his lap and bury my head in his chest. Sirius rocks me backwards and forwards for a few moments and then he nudges me out of his lap. He pours me another glass of champagne and then breaks a generous chunk off a huge slab of chocolate. This is the start of our last two months together at Hogwarts and I know both of us are intending to take each day as it comes and not think about the future. 

"Do you think we should go and visit James at his precious quidditch pitch after lunch?" Sirius asks me lightly.

"I think that would be lovely," I say with a smile and down the champagne in a few long sips. "You know I'm starting to get a little chilly," I add hopefully.

Sirius laughs and invites me to snuggle up to him. "Bloody cold. I think some butterbeer is in order, don't you?" say Sirius, producing two bottles of steaming hot butterbeer.

"You are wonderful."

"I know I am," he replies with a grin.


	10. Happy Birthday!

Hello readers! I'm back from holiday and now you can have lots of updates- every two or three days I should imagine. The story will be _about_ twenty chapters long, and _around_ twenty-five thousand words. There is going to be a Halloween party, huge amounts of fluff, a minor accident and one huge, awful, terrible, make-readers-hate-the-author disaster (and I'm not even talking about Beauxbatons…)

Lots of love goes to the following: LadyWillow, I r8ped Riddle, 'Chelle, Gwen Potter, Pooki Ze Great, PadfootMoonyProngs, aims80, CarpeNoctem27, fuzzyfishbowl, Rachel Molko (love and hugs are gratefully received- thanks), Demus, ScullyCat Marie, Polkat, Uozumi (yeah the idea for this fic came from Grease…), Give the World for Mr. Black (wow, I'm mentioned in your bio- that's made me happy!), Princess Flame, Gypsy Lupin-Black, Erfaciel, Chloe-Wagner, Cecil1, lisliasm, Liz, Vela-Chan (A prank on Professor Death? Now that's got me thinking…) madkornfan, jade, I give it all to Mr. Black, bunny7, Silmarien, Celestial Dragn, ddz008, Morissa, The Brat Prince, A.L. Lorraine and megan (sorry if it was you I was supposed to mail this story to- I only got the message this morning). THANKS EVERYONE!

**~Sirius' POV, Friday 26th September~**

Peter, Remus and I are sat in a small circle on the floor of our dormitory after dinner. "Peter," I say then glance at Remus. He nods at me reassuringly. "It's just that… well, since the beginning of… I first realised…" I stutter.

          "Cut the crap, Sirius!" cries Remus in uncharacteristic frustration.

          "What are you trying to tell me, guys?" asks Peter obliviously.

          This is it. "We're-"

          "Sirius is my homosexual lover," interrupts Remus calmly.

          I stare at him. Peter stares at him, and then at me, and then back at Remus. He looks disgusted. For somebody so small and fat Peter really fancies himself as a manly man.  "How long has this _thing _been going on?" he finally asks.

          "Two days," I admit.

          "Long enough," adds Remus.

          Peter edges away from the two of us. "I always thought you were a little strange, Remus; a bit queer. But you, Sirius, I thought you were normal. And now you tell me you just another flamin' freak. Well, if you think you're using my dormitory for you sordid little… little affairs, then you're wrong. I'll tell the Headteacher about you- and I'll tell James!"

          "James knows," I say evenly. 

          A look of horror crossed Peter's chubby face. "Shit! Not James as well!" Peter backs even further away from us. "If either of you lay a finger on me, then I'll-"

          I can't control my temper any more. "Shut the hell up!" I cry. "I love Remus. He loves me. Neither of us are going to ruin our last three months together because of an overweight-"

          "That's enough, Sirius," says Remus gently. Just at that minute James enters the dormitory and realising what is going on he sits down on his bed, picks up a magazine and keeps quiet. James' presence seems to make Peter embarrassed (Peter idolises James) and he clears his throat awkwardly. "Well, if you're in love then I guess that's okay. As long as your discreet and- WAIT A MINUTE! What did you mean about your 'last three months together?"

          James looks up from his Quidditch magazine.

          "I'm going to Beauxbatons after the Christmas holiday. I don't really want to," says Remus looking devastated. I put my arm round him.

          "SHIT! Beauxbatons! No! Is there nothing you can do?" cries James.

          Remus shakes his head and looks at the floor. I wonder if he's hiding tears. 

          "I really don't mind about your relationship," says Peter, in an effort to cheer Remus up.

          "Good," I say. "Because you're going to have to live with it." And with that I gently kiss Remus' head.

          **~Saturday 26th September~**

It's a well-known fact that all the teachers (with the possible exception of Professor Death) love Remus Lupin. They would let him get away with murder. As it is however, Remus has not got away with murder but has managed to get three of the Marauders permission to go shopping in Hogsmeade _alone (_Peter has got detention with Professor Death- maybe that woman isn't so bad after all!) The three of us walk up the main street. It's a blustery day and we all look with longing at the warm, glowing interior of the Three Broomsticks.

          It's Remus' birthday tomorrow and I'm just wondering how to excuse myself from Remus so I can buy his present when he interrupts my thoughts. "There's this really good book that I've been meaning to buy about the Properties of St' John's Wort as a healing plant. So I hope you won't be too offended if I dash off-" And with these words he turns down an side street in the direction of a rare books shop.

          "St John's what?" asks James.

          I shrug and we continue down the main road. I get the feeling James is trying to lead me in the direction of 'Quality Quidditch Supplies'. 

          "That's an interesting quill," observes James pointing at the window of a large stationary shop on the right-hand side of the street. I turn to look. The quill is not remotely interesting and this makes me suspicious. Is James trying to prevent me seeing something on the other side of the road? I turn to see. My God! 

          "James! JAMES! Look at that coat! I MUST HAVE THAT COAT!" I cry, and dragging James with me I enter the shop and head straight for the rack of coats identical to that in the shop window. "Beautiful coat! Perfect coat!" I say to myself.

          "So gay…" mutters James, although I'm not sure if he's referring to the coat or to me. At any rate, I've put the coat on and am now examining my appearance in a mirror. It's made of quality leather that fits around my body like a glove and is three-quarter length. The buttons are made of glistening wizard jet and the collar is double-breasted.

          "What do you think?" I ask James.

          "It's a little short," he says doubtfully.

          "Perfect!" I exclaim. "Remus is going to look gorgeous in this coat."

          James looks at the price tag and laughs. "Thirty Galleons! It must be love at that price!"

          I take the coat to the shopkeeper and give it one last glance before he wraps it up. "…Water-resistant… unfriendly jinx protection… varying warmth depending on the temperature… genuine wizard jet from India…" The shopkeeper lists the coats attributes while James waits impatiently in the background, shifting his weight from foot to foot and wringing his hands. 

          The minute we are out of the shop James runs off in the direction of 'Quality Quidditch Suplies'. 

**            ~Sunday 27th September~  **

Remus Lupin looks like an angel when he sleeps- an angel with an earring and amber hair. I think he looks even more delightful when he's lying encased in my arms with his head resting on my bare chest. It's a shame but I have to wake him up before Peter or James is awake so that I can give him my present alone.

          "Remie-love! Remus, wake up!" I whisper in his ear.

          A delightful moan passes his lips but he doesn't wake up.

          "Remus Lupin! Wake up this minute!" I whisper a little louder.

          "WhatisitSirius? Huh? Whyyouwakeme? Heh?" he mumbles. I kiss along his hairline then nibble his nose. "GERROFF!" he cries and I place a finger over his lips to warn him to be quiet. His eyes open and he begins to looks awake.

          "Do you know what day it is?" I ask.

          A mischievous glint appears in Remus' eye. "Hmmm… Could it be National Elf Liberation Day? Or perhaps it is Save The Goblins Day? Or maybe it's my birthday!"

          "Well done!" I grin broadly at him. "Do you want your present?"

          "Present? And what would that be?" he purrs suggestively and strokes my chest. God, I love it when he's like this. Still, I hand him the wrapped coat before I become too tempted.

          Remus rips off the paper with a wolf-like ferocity and then beholding the coat he gasps. "Damn me! Would you ever believe it?"

          "Is it all right?" I ask puzzled.

          "It's perfect, Siri. I love it," he pauses as though uncertain. "You do know that I bought your present yesterday? Before I opened this. You know that don't you?" he adds eventually. 

          I nod, mystified.

          "Good." Remus slides the coat over his bare torso- he looks every bit as sexy as I'd imagined. "Fits like a dream… wizard jet buttons… anti-jinx protection…" he mutters while standing up and modelling the coat for me. 

          "Happy Birthday, Remus," I say at last. I get up too and give him a chaste kiss on the lips. "There's something else as well. Somewhere I've been meaning to take you for a while. And I'd like to take you there tonight."

          "Okay," says Remus and I give him another quick kiss.

          "There's just one problem," I say and continue when Remus nods. "We'll have to break just about every school rule to get there!"

          "That bad? You know I'm a prefect, Sirius," he says. "I can't just go around breaking school rules…Oh, to hell with school rules! What time are we going? And what should I wear?"

           "I'll meet you in the broom cupboard opposite the entrance hall at eight O'clock." I smile mysteriously. "And as for the clothing: just think 'Glam Rock."

          **~Later~**

          It's not the comfiest way of travelling- soaring through the night air on a broom while covered in James' invisibility cloak. However, I'm enjoying the flight because Remus Lupin is perched behind me, and his slim arms are wrapped round my waist and his face pressed against my neck. 

          I pull the broom into a steep dive and Remus utters a cry of "Oh!"

          "It's alright; we're nearly there," I say.

          We land in a dark alley. I help Remus off the broom and picking it up, I lead him out onto the road adjoining the alley and turn right. "Where are we?" asks Remus.

          "Edinburgh." At the end of the road is a brightly lit four-storey house. The front door of the house opens as I draw near and together Remus and I pass into the entrance hall. Leaving the broom and invisibility cloak I lead Remus down a flight of steps and into the basement. Only it isn't an ordinary basement. It is packed with about one hundred people- all of whom are wearing eyeliner and tight vibrant clothes. Everybody's dancing and laughing and drinking, while 'Diamond Cats' is playing at full volume in the background. A massive glitter ball rotates at the centre of the room, casting silver spots of light across the flood of people who are dancing. Tiny luminous fairies float above the dance floor and hand out drinks, and the dance floor itself is coated in a thick layer of glitter.

          "IT'S SIRIUS BLACK! Sirius! Will you dance?" cries a tall thin man of about twenty with long blonde hair. His arms are open and he's about to embrace me when he sees Remus and gives me a questioning look.

          "Ori, this is Remus. He's my boyfriend," Remus grins at me and after digesting this information the blonde man walks away. I'm proud to be able to introduce him- he looks stunning in tight jeans, a blue shirt that he's charmed to shimmer and a thin blue cloak. Moreover, James (with taste I didn't know he possessed) bought him another hair colour for his birthday, this time in 'dark fire' and it looks gorgeous.

          "What's 'Ori' short for?" asks Remus, taking a glass of amber liquid off a green fairy.

          "Orion," I say. "He's the only other person I've met who's named after a star." I smile and finding myself unable to resist I kiss Remus passionately. I can't help but think that he tastes delicious.

          "So we can do that here?" asks Remus breathlessly when we break apart.

          I laugh at the expression of wonder on his face. "This place has become my refuge. That guy, Orion, runs it. I met him in London over the summer and he told me to come here when I got back to Hogwarts- I came several times before we got together. The thing is that while you're here nobody cares if you're gay or straight, or if you're alone, or even if you're a werewolf or-"

          Remus cuts me off. "So you brought me to the one place in public where I can just be myself? Yes? Because that's perfect. And you're perfect, Sirius." And with that Remus takes my hand and pulls me onto the last tiny space on the dance floor. The song has changed to 'You're All I'll Ever Need' by the Magic Mushrooms and I distinctly hear Remus mutter 'this is our song…" before we start to dance.

          Remus' arms have once again snaked round my waist and mine are draped over his shoulders. Our bodies are pressed together and we move in perfect timing. "You're All I'll Ever Need…" I hum in Remus' ear and he presses himself even closer to me as we prepare to dance away the night.


	11. Violent Bludgers

The fabulous reviewers that I would like to thank this time are: I r8ped Riddle, LadyWillow, ScullyCat Marie (never been called 'God' in a review before…Actually that could well be the most flattering review I've ever had! Congrats! ), Uozumi, The Demonic Duo, fuzzyfishbowl, Gypsy Lupin-Black, ddz008, Cecil the Chicky, freakyfairy, Chloe-Wagner, Liz, GrandWilde (no I haven't seen Velvet Goldmine but I may well try to as it sounds quite good), Ambika-san, my beloved Demus, Rachel Molko, CelestialDrgn, Destiny Bunny, Juniper Winner, madkornfan, Aidenfire, xelmus, BigBlackDog (please do draw a picture- I _try_ to often enough…) I love you all rather a lot!   Special mention this chapter goes to Vela-chan who shares Remus' birthday.

**~Remus Lupin's Journal, 8th Thursday October~ **

God, I have more homework than I ever believed possible (a role of parchment each for Charms, Herbology and Muggle Studies, a lunar chart for astronomy, _two _roles of parchment for Potions…) and instead of doing it, I am writing in my journal. I don't suppose doing my homework really matters when I'm leaving so soon. 

No! I mustn't take that attitude! I must get the best report possible for starting Beauxbatons- My God, nearly a month has past since I found out that I have to go there and I still can't believe that in a few months I'm going to be attending a different school, making different friends and speaking a different language. Mon dieu indeed! I don't know how I'm going to manage.

I am happy though. I've never been happier in my whole life! I love Sirius so much that I practically get down on my knees and worship him whenever I see him. Actually that's a lie: whenever I see Sirius I drag him into the nearest broom cupboard or empty classroom and- 

I think you can guess what happens.

**~Remus' POV, Friday 9th October~**

The look on James' face is priceless as he enters the dormitory. 

"I just came to get my Potions homework," he mumbles before averting his eyes from us and grabbing two roles of parchment from his trunk.

As soon as James leaves the room Sirius and I burst out laughing. We're laughing partly because of James' expression and partly because we've just resumed the tickling fight we were in the middle of before James interrupted.

"Admit it! You were wrong!" laughs Sirius _trying_ to wrestle me down onto his bed. 

"Never!" I cry back through tears of laughter. This is what we're having a fight over: I said that Sirius wasn't a good tickler. In fact, I know him to be a very good ticker indeed and only wanted to be cheered up in the face of the near full moon. I just knew that Sirius would have to prove me wrong in my accusation. 

"WHO IS THE BEST TICKLER?" roars Sirius, finally proving himself to be the stronger one of us and pinning me down onto his bed. He climbs on top of me and starts tickling me helpless.

"Stop it… NO… please! YOU'RE THE BEST TICKLER, SIRIUS!" I cry desperately. He stops tickling me and I realise that we've been making enough noise for the entire common room below to hear us. "Ooops," I say, still laughing. Sirius tries to climb off me but I grab his arm and force him to stay. By now I've just about managed to stop laughing. 

"Thank you, Padfoot," I say sincerely. I don't need to tall him what I'm thanking him for- just being himself. 

"Your welcome, Mr. Moony," replies Sirius with a wry smile, leaning down towards me. My heart seems to skip a beat the way it always does before our lips meet, when the door to a dormitory opens.

James enters the room again. He is resolutely looking in the opposite direction to us. "I'm just getting my Charm's book then I'll be gone," he mutters awkwardly, making Sirius and I start laughing all over again.   

**~Saturday 10th October, Gryffindor versus Slytherin Quidditch match~**

I am so happy that, although I don't believe in God, I feel like singing gospel music at the top of my voice. It's the weekend, I've just woken up in my usual position curled up by Sirius' side with his arms around me as he snores gently, today is the first quidditch match of the season, and Gryffindor are going to kick Slytherin's ass with James as seeker. Moreover, Sirius resigned from the quidditch team (much to James' distress) at the beginning of this year because it didn't 'fit with his image'. This means I don't have to close my eyes through terror every time a bludger comes too near to Sirius. 

"Wake up, guys!" cries James from somewhere outside the bed hangings and across the room. Since Sirius and I have been a couple we've no longer kept the bed hangings open- the dark hides no terrors for either of us when we're together. "IT'S THE QUIDDITCH MATCH TODAY!"

Sirius appears to have woken up. " Shut up, James, you bastard!!"

"It's not like we could have forgotten the quidditch match with you going on about _all the time_," moans Peter, his voice coming from somewhere nearby. 

"He's just jealous because he didn't get on the quidditch team…" Sirius whispers in my ear and I giggle. 

**~At the quidditch pitch ~ **

Sirius, Peter and I are sat in the stands looking over the pitch. It's a grey, murky day and rain falls from the clouds in a steady drizzle. "The match should have started by now. I wonder what's causing the delay?" muses Sirius.

"Snape's probably got a splinter off his broom," Peter says bitterly. To my surprise Sirius laughs and pats Peter's shoulder.

"Surely you're not jealous of Snape…" he teases. I'm pleased- this is the nearest to a friendly conversation Sirius and Peter have managed in the last fortnight.

A murmur of excitement runs through the crowd of spectators as a single figure soars out of the Gryffindor changing rooms. "SIRIUS!!!!!! SIRIUS!" yells James bringing his broom to hover a few metres above out stand. He looks anxious and flushed. "Sirius!" 

"What is it?" calls Sirius up to James.

"I need you to play beater. That bitch- Professor Death- decided to put my best beater in detention ten minutes before the match," James calls back. "Come on, Sirius, you've got to help me!"

Sirius looks at me desperately but I nod. We've all got to make sacrifices (mine will be watching Sirius beat off violent bludgers for the duration of the match) if it means Slytherin will be beaten. "I haven't got any quidditch robes," shouts Sirius.

James shrugs this away. "Play as you are. You're not going to be mistaken for a Slytherin!" This is true; Sirius is wearing his usual tight black jeans and T-shirt with a short red military-style coat with gold piping. Added to this is a gold earring with a tiny moon dangling form it and lashings of smoke-coloured eye make-up. "Please Sirius…" pleads James, ignoring Peter who has already volunteered his services as beater several times.   

"Okay," says Sirius. James whoops, then lowering the broom a couple of feet, he helps Sirius on and the two of them fly to the changing rooms.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WELCOME TO THE FIRST MATCH OF THE QUIDDITCH SEASON- GRYFFINDOR VERSUS SLYTHERIN!!!" Hearty cheers sound throughout the stands as the players fly onto the pitch. I can easily identify Sirius because of his different clothes and the natural easy grace with which he flies.

The whistle blows and the commentary begins, "TODAY LOOKS TO BE A VERY EXCITING MATCH WITH PERHAPS THE TWO BEST SEEKERS HOGWARTS HAS EVER SEEN: LUCIUS MALFOY AND JAMES POTTER-" I cheer madly, "-GRYFFINDORS WILL ALSO BE PLEASED TO NOTE THAT ACTING AS SECOND BEATER TODAY IS THE EXCELLENT SIRIUS BLACK, WHO IS MAKING QUITE A FASHION STATEMENT-" I laugh and can just see Sirius doing a somersault in the air before I have to look away as a bludger nearly hits him. Ten minutes go by and I keep my eyes firmly fixed on the ground and listen nervously to the commentary- "Ooooh! A NEAR MISS FOR BLACK THERE! BUT WHAT A COME BACK- FABULOUS HIT FROM SIRIUS BLACK- SIRIUS BLACK IS REALLY COURTING TROUBLE NOW-" 

I only look back at the match when I hear the crowd give a collective gasp. Two boys, one with silver-blonde and one with black hair, are hurtling towards the ground. I lean forward in my seat and cross my fingers behind my back. Even the commentator is silent as everybody watches to see what will happen. Lucius Malfoy reaches towards the snitch and I realise that I'm not breathing. Just as I take a haggard breath, James knocks Malfoy out of the way and narrowly pulls out of the dive with the snitch firmly in his grasp. The stand I'm in is the first to erupt into a fit of screaming. I cheer and hug Peter next to me. "We won!" 

Far above the stands I can see James fly towards Sirius and clasp his hand. Sirius is thumping James on the back and they're both laughing. 

It must be a sort of sixth sense that makes me turn to face Severus Snape at that moment. He's got hold of one of the bludgers, it struggles against his grasp for a few moments before he releases it and swings his beater's bat at it. I realise almost immediately that he's aiming the bludger at James but somehow before it happens I know that it's going to hit Sirius. 

Everything appears to happen in slow motion. I can see James and Sirius talking and laughing perhaps a hundred feet above the ground. Sirius turns to wave at me. Then the bludger hits him squarely in the chest and he's thrown off his broom. James reaches out to save him but his hand grasps on air and Sirius falls, a streak of glittering red against the grey haze of the sky.

The crowd falls silent. "Sirius!!!" I scream.

James dives after the falling Sirius but I know he's too late and I close my eyes as Sirius hits the ground with a dull thud. When I open them again I can see Sirius lying crumpled on the floor, still and pale as death, with a dozen people crowding round him and muttering anxiously.


	12. Never Leaving

You know, readers, I got the strangest idea that some of you thought I was going to kill Sirius. Now why would I do that?

Big thanks to Yukirei, Polkat, Give the World for Mr. Black, Demus, Ambika-san, Erfaciel, Aidenfire, ddz008, Fade to Black, Gwen Potter, Nine1, anon, BigBlackDog, The Demonic Duo, Cecil the Chicky, madkornfan, Icewing, fuzzyfishbowl, nightpearl, Rachel Molko, Vela-chan, ScullyCat Marie, Skittles1, Lady DeathAngel, luv_babuy, CelestialDrgn, JadeWerewolf, Gypsy Lupin-Black and a massive thank you to LittlePowSquishy for reviewing every chapter in a row. 

**~Sirius' POV, Thursday 15th October~**

I wake up suddenly from a very deep sleep. Is that the distant boom of thunder I can hear? And the pitter-patter of rain against a window?  

I groan loudly. I think my head has split in two. It aches terribly and even with my eyes closed the brightly lit room is painful. I scrunch my eyes up tighter against the brightness. Where am I? Why do I hurt so much? Where is Remus? Curiosity gets the better of my desire for darkness and I peek at my surroundings.

"Arrrrrghhhhhhh! Shit! Oh God!" I shriek when I see two huge eyes peering at me, inches away from my own face.

"Easy mate- it's only me," soothes James moving further away.

"Bloody hell, James! I _never _want you that close to me again!"

James looks a bit affronted. "Sorry. It's just that you groaned a minute ago and that's the first sign of life we've had from you since the accident."

What accident? What's going on? I start to question James. "Where am I?"

"The hospital ward."  
  


"What happened to me?"  
  


"A bludger knocked you off your broom after the quidditch match." James looks quite distressed. "I tried to reach you but you just kept falling. Then you hit the ground with this awful 'thud'… It was terrible."

"Don't worry, mate. I'm okay," I reassure James. Then I ask the most important question. "Where's Remus?"

"Remus has hardly left your side. Peter and I have had to drag him away from your bedside to make him eat and sleep. Oh, and he had to leave to go to lessons of course, except for today, which was the day after the full moon. But he's scarcely said a word to anyone and he's been miserable as sin. Right now, however, he's walking outside. I reckon he's trying to drown himself in the rain."

Poor Remus, having to go through another full moon without me. Then I realise what else James said. Lessons! James said Remus had been to his lessons! What day is it? When was the full moon?  

James sees my puzzled look. "It's Thursday 15th. You've been unconscious for five days."

"Bloody hell," I say for the second time. Five days of my life have passed me by!

Peter enters the hospital ward, looks at me awkwardly and eventually says, "I'll just go and get Remus…" Then he leaves without another word.

James shrugs. "Don't worry about Peter. He doesn't seem to have a problem with Remus or your relationship. I guess he just doesn't know how to behave around you anymore. You're not the same as you used to be- with all this glam rock and being gay- and Peter finds it hard to adapt to changes." 

I laugh. "That was a very good analogy except for one thing: I really don't give a damn about how Peter's feeling. I have you and I have Remus, and that's all that matters."

James shakes his head. "I know you don't mean that, Sirius. We're the Marauders and there are four of us."

"You're right; I didn't mean that," I say eventually as I remember the promises we made in our first year at Hogwarts. From the look on James face I can tell that he is also remembering the time when the four of us became the legendary Marauders. Everything is silent as we both are lost in solemn memories.

****

**_~Flashback~_**

****

_"We'll call ourselves the Marauders," declares James._

_"All for one and one for all," adds Remus, quoting The Three Musketeers._

_"Brothers," suggests Peter tentatively._

_"Forever," I finish. "And what shall our first task be?"_

_James laughs evilly. "I think a bit of Slytherin-tormenting is in order!"_

_I begin to cackle evilly alongside James. Peter tries an evil cackle but fails miserably. Remus just smiles faintly._

**_~End Flashback~_**

****

Remus dashes into the room and skids across the floor, just managing to stop himself falling by grabbing James' outstretched hand. "Sirius! Sirius! Oh Mon Dieu! Oh God!" 

James nods to me, smiles gently at Remus and leaves the hospital wing. "What the hell have you been doing?" I ask Remus fiercely.

"Walking," answers Remus lamely. His hair is dripping water onto the floor and a few dark strands are plastered across his ghostly-white face. A huge drop of water drips off the end of his nose. His waterlogged robes are hanging loosely over his slight body, which is shivering uncontrollably. His dark eyeliner is smudged by the rain, or maybe by tears, I can't tell which.

"Silly werewolf," I berate and Remus climbs onto my hospital bed and hugs me tightly, burying his face in my neck. He really is sopping wet but I don't care about the water, which is soaking through my bedclothes and dripping down my chest. "Darling wolf…"

Remus is talking desperately in my ear. "The headmaster said you'd wake up soon but two days passed, and then three, and the fourth- and I thought maybe he was wrong, and that perhaps you'd never wake. I know it's stupid, Padfoot, but I couldn't help it. I saw you fall from your broom and I heard you hit the ground and- Oh God. It was bloody awful. And you just lay there, like you were in some sort of enchanted sleep and-"

"Shut up, Remus," I say gently and he obeys. "I'm never leaving you. _Never _leaving you, you understand?"

Remus clings to me desperately for a moment then releases me. "I wish I could say the same to you," he says bitterly. "Damn beauxbatons!"

"Don't be stupid. People who have loved us never really leave us. _Never._"__

**~Friday 16th October~**

I've already managed to charm my hair to change colour depending on the light. Right now, it has a slightly violet tinge and I'm sat experimentally charming my nails to make them black and glittery. I look up eagerly as Peter, James and Remus walk through the door. "How are you?" asks James.

"Bored," I reply. "If I have to spend another day stuck in bed in the hospital ward then-"

Remus cuts me off. "You're not well and you're not leaving that bed until you are."

I laugh and the three boys pull up seats and sit round my bed. Peter sits furthest away. "How's your day been, Wormtail?" I ask, remembering James' words about there being four Marauders.

Peter looks glad to be included in the conversation. "I hate Professor Death," he says enthusiastically.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT SLYTHERIN-LOVING BITCH!" blurts out James before I can ask Peter what she's done now. "She's given Remus detention for every night for the next two weeks!"

"What did you do to deserve two weeks of detention?" I ask Remus, who shrugs innocently.  

"Remus put a wet-start firework in Professor Death's cauldron so that it went off when she was demonstrating how to brew truth potions. It was very- messy. Then she tried everybody in the class with the second batch of truth potion until she got to Remus and he confessed to planting the firework, under the influence of truth potion, of course," says James. I think I can detect admiration in his voice.  
  


"Remus!" I exclaim. "You're a prefect!"

Remus laughs reluctantly. "I don't know why I did it. She was just beginning to get on my nerves."

"We'll get revenge, won't we, Marauders?" I say and the other three cheer. "It's been too long since the Marauders pulled a really good prank." 

There is a few minutes silence during which we all plan revenge on Professor Death. "There is some good news, though," says James eventually. 

"Yes?" I inquire. 

"There is going to be a Halloween costume ball on Saturday 30th. You're supposed to go in fancy dress!" 

"James is very excited because Lily Evans has agreed to go with him," adds Peter.

"Lily Evans! I guess if you really like her…" I say.

"I do!" cries James defensively. "Anyway, I've got to go to quidditch practice now. Are you coming Peter?" he asks looking pointedly at Remus and I, and then back at Peter.

"Yes, I'm coming," says Peter, taking the hint. The two of them leave the hospital ward and as soon as they're gone Remus pounces on me. He kisses me fiercely and when we break apart there's an almost feral look in his eyes. The wolf is coming out. "I've been wanting to kiss you like that for so long," he says hungrily, then a blush creeps up his cheeks and he becomes quiet Remus Lupin again.

"I've been wanting to be kissed like that all day," I reply and get another slower, softer kiss in return. God almighty, I love this boy!  

   ~~~

_Anybody seen the film 'Pirates of the Caribbean'? Well, think Jack Sparrow's (Johnny Depp) kohl-lined eyes- think Sirius Black. Oh, and do click on the review button…  _

****


	13. Leather Trousers

32 reviews for the last chapter! 18 comments about Pirates of the Caribbean, eye-liner and my personal belief that Johnny Depp is 'gorgeous' personified! A very big thank you to all my reviewers but especially to ScullyCat Marie and Give the World for Mr. Black, who wrote two of the loveliest reviews… *blinks back tears*… that I've received.

**~An Entry to Remus Lupin's Journal, Sunday 17th October~**

Two months ago I would have been shocked to walk in on Sirius applying makeup. Now this doesn't bother me. Only it wasn't makeup that Sirius was putting on when I came to see him this morning (it's his last day in the hospital wing), he was sewing. Sewing! I think he must already be working on his costume for the Halloween ball. So now I'm scared because I have no idea what to go as. God, I hate costume balls! But at least this time I have a partner. And a rather sexy one at that…

Costume Idea for the Halloween Ball is:

A werewolf.

**~An Entry to Remus Lupin's Journal, Wednesday 20th October~**

Costume ideas for the Halloween ball are:

A muggle,

A woman,

A wizard.

Now why do I get the feeling that Sirius won't be too impressed with any of those?

In other news, have managed to brew a potion that counteracts the effect of truth potion. Found the recipe in the restricted section of the library (must thank James for the use of his invisibility cloak later). This potion means that Professor Death can no longer use truth potion against any of the Marauders as long as they have a mouthful of my potion within four hours of truth potion exposure. It sounds bloody complicated but I know it'll come in useful any day now… 

**~An Entry to Remus Lupin's Journal, Friday 22nd October~**

Better costume ideas for the Halloween ball are:

A king,

A vampire,

Julius Caesar,

A goblin,

A glam rock star,

A ghost, 

Professor Death (on second thoughts- NO!!!!!!!)

**~An Entry to Remus Lupin's Journal, Sunday 24th October~**

Have settled on a costume at last. I am going to the ball dressed as a king- this way I get to wear lots of gold jewellery and deep purple velvet fabric without looking too gay! Now where can I get a crown? 

**~Remus' POV Monday 25th October~**

          Potions with the Slytherins used to be my worst nightmare (aside from the odd worries about my monthly transformations and vague hints of the terror inflicted at the hands of those dark wizards who keep appearing, of course.) Anyway, my point is that I used to dread Potions but I don't any more. Right now I'm sitting between Sirius and Peter in the Potions dungeon and I'm leaning against Sirius' arm and watching his long, slender fingers with their blue nail polish drumming on the desk, and I'm remarkably happy.

Professor Death enters the classroom, glares at all the Gryffindors and clears her over-size throat. "Good morning class!"

          "Good morning Professor Death," chorus the class. I glance at Sirius and see a mad, maniacal grin plastered across his face.

          "Are you sure we're immune to truth potion?" whispers Peter in my ear.

          "Yes," I hiss back. I'm not risking another two-week's detention.

          Professor Death notices Sirius. "Glad to have you back, Mr Black. Perhaps now that you've had a knock on the head you might learn how to make some of the more simpler potions." The Slytherins in the classroom laugh but Sirius remains impassive. "Now turn to page seventy-three for preliminary reading on disease-immunity drafts," she says before giving James, Peter, Sirius and myself an evil leer and settling herself at her desk.

          Most of the class begin to read page seventy-three but none of the Marauders bother. We're too busy watching the blackboard behind Professor Death. It isn't long before spindly writing appears across the board:

          _Professor Death- they call her a witch,_

_Though In fact she is a perfect bitch,_

_          Ugly as hell,_

_          Evil as well,_

_          With about as much charm as a snitch!_

          There is a hastily stifled chuckle as James alerts the Gryffindors on the row behind to the writing. Within a minute the whole Gryffindor side of the classroom are eagerly watching the blackboard.  

          However, instead of another limerick or some more insults, a picture of Professor Death begins to appear on the blackboard. In the picture, Professor Death is hideously fat with layers of chins and a huge nose that dominates her entire face. Her teeth stick right out of her mouth and are yellow and pointed like fangs and her hair hangs down in long and greasy strands. This particular caricature was drawn by Peter (a surprisingly good cartoonist) and then charmed to appear on the blackboard by me. The first audible giggles sound in the row behind me.

          "What are you laughing at?" asks Professor Death suspiciously. "What's so funny?" 

          At this the quiet giggles become uncontrolled laughter. I can see tears of mirth rolling down James' face.

          "WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?" bellows Professor Death.

          "There's a drawing of you appeared on the blackboard," says Severus Snape in a superior tone. 

          Professor Death spins round to face the blackboard. She gasps. "If I catch the filthy-" But she stops dead as yet more charmed letters appear on the blackboard:

          _Some say that she's good at potions,_

_          I say she needs beauty lotions,_

_          And perfume as well,_

_          To cover her smell,_

_          And maybe some human emotions…_

"Whoever did this will pay for it! GOD, I SWEAR I WILL HAVE THE LITTLE TOE RAG EXPELLED! Does anybody know who did this? What sick, conniving, evil, little-"

          Severus Snape clears his throat loudly. "It was Remus Lupin, Professor. He's the only one good enough at charms to do it and he's already tried to undermine your authority once this fortnight." All the Slytherins nod eagerly- they love seeing a Gryffindor punished. Professor Death promptly storms into the storeroom adjoining the classroom and leaves all the pupils alone. 

          I can feel Sirius tensing up beside me. "_'Undermine your authority,'" _hecries indignantly. "Says the same bastard who knocked me off my broom last week!"

          "That wasn't me. You fell, Black. _Fell _off your broom!" Some of the Slytherins chortle at this remark. "Although, I suppose it's only to be expected that a boy who wears make up can't stay on his broom!"

          "Nice one, Snivellus. At least I didn't have to bribe my way onto the quidditch team," growls Sirius. "Although now that you're on the team I guess there's a chance of you getting a girlfriend. Then again, maybe not…"  
  


          "LOOK WHO'S TALKING- GAY BOY!"

          A shocked silence greets this remark. Even Sirius seems lost for words. I clear my throat. "Personally, Snape, I can think of a lot worse things to be called that 'gay'. And as it happens, I saw you aiming for James with that bludger last-"

          Professor Death enters the classroom waving a tiny bottle of truth potion and all talk finishes. "COME WITH ME, MR LUPIN! LET'S SEE IF SOME TRUTH POTION WON'T GET A CONFESSION OUT OF YOU!!"

          I stand up and am about to follow Professor Death, who seems happy to abandon her lesson, when Sirius stands up, and ignoring the jeers of Snape and his cronies, kisses me on the lips. 

**            ~The Halloween Ball, Saturday 30th October~**

          James and I are waiting in the Gryffindor common room. James is dressed as Carl O'Malley, the England quidditch team seeker. He's wearing England quidditch robes and has dyed his hair pale blonde and charmed his eyes to bright blue. The effect is so dramatic that just a minute ago I didn't recognise him.   

"Do I really look alright?" I ask James.

          "Yes but stop tugging at your robes and Oh for Christ's sake! Leave that crown alone!"

          Lily Evans comes down the stairs talking to Peter. Lily is dressed as a fairy and Peter is dressed as a- pumpkin. James and I double over with laughter. Then James takes Lily's hand and Peter the Pumpkin waddles off to the other end of the common room to find his date. I'm left standing alone- a king abandoned by all his courtiers. 

          "Are you not going to say hello, Moony," says a deep silky voice in my ear. I turn round to find Sirius standing behind me. Bloody hell…

          The top half of his face is masked- a black mask trimmed with red sequins. He's wearing a white ruffled shirt like those worn by gentlemen in the 18th century, black boots with spurs, a long black cloak also trimmed with red sequins, a wide-brimmed hat with a huge red plume and a sword and a pistol hang hang at his side. He's also wearing extremely tight leather trousers. 

          "You like?" asks Sirius mischievously.

          "I like the leather trousers," I say truthfully. My God, I have never in my life seen anything as sexy as a glittery Sirius in those trousers. "I just have one question."  
  


          "What is it Your Royal Highness?" asks Sirius pulling me towards him.

          "What are you?"  
  


          "I'm a glam rock highwayman. I was the usual 18th century highwayman but then I decided that a few sequins and the leather trousers, which you seem to like, added to the outfit!"

          "They do!"

          Sirius offers me his arm. "May I escort you to the ballroom, my Lady."

          "Don't think you're the man in this relationship, Sirius. You're the one who's dressed as a glam rock highwayman," I say.

**~Later~**

          I'm dancing with Sirius. In fact, I've been dancing with Sirius all night. I don't think I could ever dance with anybody else. Right this moment we're dancing to the chorus of 'You're All I Need' and Sirius is describing Snape's hideous costume in my ear (vampire!), as I still haven't seen him yet.  ****

'You're All I Need' by the Magic Mushrooms ends eventually and Sirius and I move off the dance floor. "Should we go outside for a while?" shouts Sirius over the next song and I nod. We walk past James and Lily dancing slowly together despite the fact that a fast dance is now playing. Then we see Peter the Pumpkin sitting all alone in a corner but neither of us have the heart to join him.

          "Was that James with blonde hair?" asks Sirius once we get outside.

          "Yeah." 

          "He definitely should go blonde!" 

          I look to see if Sirius is joking or not but I honestly can't tell. So I keep quiet and focus on not tripping over my long velvet robes or losing my crown as he leads me down to the lake. "Darling…" says Sirius and then not even bothering to remove his mask he tilts my head upwards, leans forwards and kisses me so softly that I think my heart should melt.

          There is only this moment: no past and no future. Only this king and this vagabond, this press of bodies, this play of tongues, this warmth, this sense of belonging, this night, this life and this love. Had this moment been in a muggle film then the camera would move slowly away from the two of us and then up into the sky, where it would pan out across the castle, and the lake sparkling with the light of a thousand stars, and the great primeval mountains surrounding Hogwarts.   

          And for once I won't wish that Sirius and I could have a happy ending because there is no ending: only this one perfect moment in this one perfect night.

**            ~~~**

_Please leave a review if you enjoyed this chapter, liked Sirius Black in leather trousers, are in love with Johnny Depp or just want to say hi… (You might gather that I like reviews!)_


	14. Judas Iscariot

Thank you to all of these kind, wonderful reviewers: Chloe-Wagner, Princess Flame, Demus, The Amaaazing Dr. Cecil, LadyWillow, Ambika-san, Racehl Molko, I r8ped Riddle, fuzzyfishbowl, vela-chan (don't fear- Sirius will not be falling for Peter while I write this fic), ddz008, The Demoni Duo, Kestrel (will I send Remus away? Just wait and see…), Gypsy Lupin-Black, JadeWerewolf, BigBlackDog, Pooki Ze Great, Shadow, Ophel, madkornfan, Aidenfire, Erfaciel, PiNKflipflops (yeah, Jack was hotter than Will!), Uozumi, I give it all to Mr. Black, LittlePowSquishy, Silmarien, Destiny Bunny, Give the World for Mr. Black (thanks biggest fan!), ScullyCat Marie, Gwen Potter, Sakurelf, Lady-Sirhasisi, Regina (glad you like the story! There are a few Lesbian stories on fanfiction.net but I probably won't write one as all my fave characters are male- I'm still a little too in love with Siri/Remie), faeri_hell, No 1 you wanna no, rhiannon (I shouldn't inquire how something can be disgusting and brilliant, should I?), q (Johnny Depp would be soooo perfect but I'm willing to give Gary Oldman a chance...), oOo- Sirius -oOo, SB for Me, Fade to Black, Bunny, Liz, Morissa, Hi!, ReiLynn, Fae, Never You Mind That (well, I've never been called 'God' before), Lady Sundig, Polkat, DARKMEW13, Lady Stone, Celestial Drgn, A.L. Lorraine and luv_baby. 

**~Sirius' POV, Sunday 31st October~**

          I wake up after a night of dreaming about Halloween costume balls and a laughing flame-haired boy. 

I don't think I shall ever be able to sleep alone again. To sleep without the gentle, lithe form of Remus Lupin curled up in my arms with his head on my chest and his breast rising and falling as he snores softly, would be impossible. "Sleep on darling…" I whisper as I release him from my grasp. I get up and slip on yesterday's leather trousers with an old T-shirt then head downstairs for breakfast.

          There is the usual buzz of excited chatter (Remus…kissing…potions…last night…dancing together…) as I enter the Great Hall and take a seat at the Gryffindor table.

          "Morning," I say to James, Lily and Peter who are already eating. "Nice hair," I inform James, who still has bright blonde locks.

          James grins broadly at me."Good morning, Sirius. You do know what they say don't you? That blondes have more fun!" Lily giggles as this remark and gazes at James adoringly. Peter looks sullen. 

          Suddenly, two warm hands cover my eyes and a voice whispers "guess who?" 

          "I don't know- is it Professor Death? Or maybe it's the minister for magic? Or perhaps-"

          "Shut up, Sirius!" says Remus affectionately and kisses my hairline. "Why didn't you wake me? I hate waking up alone."

          I glance at James, Lily and Peter who are all trying to pretend that they're not listening to our conversation. "I guess you're just too cute when you sleep to be woken…" I reply eventually. Then I turn back to my breakfast and pour Remus a strong cup of tea.

          'CRASH!'

          I start and turn towards the source of the noise. The section of bench that Remus had just sat down on has broken and Remus is lying sprawled on the floor amidst several pieces of wood.

          "God, Remus! You really don't look heavy enough to make the bench collapse!" teases James as I help the unfortunate Remus off the floor.

          "Damn Snape!" curses Remus with feeling.

          "Snape did this?" James asks.

          "Yes! And he turned my charms essay pink yesterday. And the day before that he jinxed my quill so that it insulted me every time I tried to write something!"

          "We'll get revenge!" exclaims James fiercely.

          I laugh wickedly. "Well actually, gentlemen, I signed Mr. Severus Snape up with 'Wizard Alcoholics Anonymous' yesterday. Does that count as revenge?"

**~Saturday, 6th November~**

Another quiet school week has passed (hell, did I just say _another _quiet week! We rarely ever have quiet weeks!) In fact, this last week has been so uneventful that I am now convinced Snape and his cronies are planning something dreadful for this weekend. Remus, James and Peter seem to think the same thing, as they've been exceptionally quiet over breakfast this morning- Remus has barely touched his food at all.

          I look up as the post arrives and then turn, along with James and Peter, to watch Snape.

          "Alcoholics Anonymous Membership Pack and the November edition of 'What Alcohol?' magazine! I DIDN'T ORDER THIS!! I swear I didn't-" Snape stops ranting and turns to look at the Marauders with a look of pure, sparkling malice in his dark eyes. Then he grins. Then he starts to laugh loudly. I'm seriously unnerved and turn round to gauge Remus' reaction. 

In front of poor Remus sits a bright red smoking envelope.

          "Oh God," mutters Remus.

          "Shit!" I curse.

          "Run while you can," advises James who has also noticed the smoking howler.

          But it's too late to run. The whole of the Gryffindor table cringes as the howler starts screaming. "My dad…" murmurs Remus faintly.

          "NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I SEEN ANYTHING SO COWARDLY! NEVER BEFORE HAVE I BEEN SO ASHAMED OF MY ONLY SON AS THIS MORNING WHEN I RECEIVED THE LETTER!  YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT REMUS LUPIN! THE LETTER WHERE YOU SO CASUALLY INFORMED YOUR MOTHER AND I ABOUT YOUR TWISTED SEXUAL PREFERENCES! 

          "DID WE BRING YOU UP SO BADLY? WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE A GAY SON? IT'S THAT DAMNED SIRIUS BLACK LEADING YOU ASTRAY ISN'T IT? NO DOUBT HE PERSUADED YOU TO SUBMIT TO HIS SICK, PERVERTED LITTLE MINISTRATIONS! 

          "WELL, I WONT'T HAVE IT! THIS NONSENSE MUST END NOW! YOU ARE, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, TO CONTINUE THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH MR. BLACK! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? THERE WILL BE NONE OF THIS HOMOSEXUAL NONSENSE AT BEAXBATONS! IT WILL END NOW!" And as quickly as it had started shouting the howler stops. The Great Hall is silent and every single eye seems to be fixed on either Remus or myself. 

          "Why did you tell your parents?" I demand.

          "I didn't," replies Remus unsteadily.

          "Then who did?" 

          "Severus Snape."

          Silence.

          "Bloody hell! Forget 'Alcoholics Anonymous'! I'm signing that bastard up to 'Cross-dressers Anonymous' immediately," says James trying to cheer us up. But his words are lost on Remus, who has already got up and is walking out of the Hall with his head bowed and two dozen burning into his back.

**            ~Outside~**

"Remus! REMUS!" I cry as I hurtle down towards the lake. Remus doesn't stop walking. "For the love of God, Remus! Stop and listen to me!"

          Remus stops walking along the bank of the lake and turns round to face me. He waits patiently while I catch my breath after running all the way from our dormitory.

          "Are you upset?" I ask him.

          "No," answers Remus but in actual fact he looks heartbroken.

          "I'll kill Snape!"

          "And what good would that do?" demands Remus. "Gandhi said 'an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind' and he was right."

          "He has no right to treat you like this!" I argue.

          "It's not only me. My father just told the entire hall that you are perverted!"

          Remus starts walking again and I walk alongside him. He's going very fast and I can barely keep up with him. A terrible thought crosses my mind. "Remus," I say grabbing his arm to slow him down. "You're not going to listen to your dad, are you? You're not going to end our relationship?"

          Remus stops walking and gently touches his lips to mine. "Of course I'm not! My dad can go to hell, as far as I'm concerned. I've never been so happy before and he's not going to ruin that happiness. Haven't I told you I love you enough times already?"

          All my fears are put to rest. "I can always be told again," I tease.

          "In that case, I love you Sirius Black. I love you more than any parent, more than the moon and stars, more than life itself!" Remus throws himself into my arms and I hold him close to me for a few seconds. "What have you got in your robes?" he asks eventually.

          I laugh and reaching inside my cloak, pull out a bottle of wine. "Not champagne this time, I'm afraid."

          "Is it French?" asks Remus, examining the bottle.

          "Austrian," I answer.

          Remus grins. "I'll drink to that!" He taps the bottle with his wand so the cork flies out of the neck and then takes a long swig straight from the bottle. He hands it to me and we start to walk as we drink. 

          "We could always sign Snape up to a dating agency," I suggest eventually.

          "A gay dating agency," furthers Remus.

          "Not that anyone would pick him as a date!" I take a long drink of wine out of the bottle and the two of us walk on in easy silence. It's a cold, crisp day and the lake is perfectly flat, with not a single disturbing ripple.

          "You know, Sirius, I think I like those leather trousers even more in the daylight!"

          "Really?" 

          "Yes," says Remus and then hesitates.

          "What is it?" I prompt.

          "I'd like you better out of those trousers," he says quietly.

          "Soon, darling. Soon." 

          **~An Entry to Sirius Black's Journal, Wednesday, November 10th ~**

'Why don't you start a journal? I don't know where I'd be without mine,' said Remus to me. So I've started a journal. This is it. 

What on earth am I supposed to write? Should I introduce myself? I'm Sirius Black, very nearly seventeen years of age, five feet and ten inches tall, slender and rather good-looking even if I say so myself. I like glam rock and quidditch (but only in moderation). I have a very sexy boyfriend called Remus Lupin. I also have three potions essays to write for Friday. 

Now should I say what has happened recently? Severus Snape (evil Slytherin bastard) has received fourteen introductory letters form various societies in the past week. He has also found his cauldron turned into a frog, all his robes dyed pink and his pen charmed so that every time he writes his name it immediately changes to 'Greasy Git'. And yesterday James ambushed him, took him into a broom cupboard and hung him upside down until he agreed to do nothing else to harm my relationship with Remus. I would have done it myself but Remus keeps lecturing me on 'turning the other cheek' and 'two wrongs don't make a right'.  

It's the full moon tomorrow. It'll be the first time this year that Padfoot has been free to run with Moony.

**~Thursday, November 11th~**

"Hurry up, Sirius! He'll have transformed before we even leave the castle at this rate," says James from under the invisibility cloak.

"Okay, I'm coming," I reply, ducking under the cloak to join him and Peter. There doesn't seem to be enough room. "Peter, you'll have to transform into a rat," I suggest.

Peter transforms and I carry him. Now that the cloak covers all three of us, we walk out of the dormitory, through the common room, along three corridors, down two flights of stairs and out of the entrance hall. Now we move into the pitch darkness outside and discard the cloak. The moon has not yet risen.

"Shit! I've forgotten my wand. I'll have to run back for it," I cry and grabbing the invisibility cloak off James, I run back towards the castle. It is essential that all three of us have our wands in case we separate during the night.

I reach our dormitory in one long sprint and spot my wand lying on my bed. "Such an idiot…" I mutter to myself, then checking the invisibility cloak is covering me, I run back through the common room. I'm starting to panic as I can see moonlight filtering through the windows I pass and I don't want to keep James and Peter waiting. They need both of the larger animals to control Moony. 

I dash through the entrance hall and open the huge oak doors just wide enough for me to slip through. Then I start running again and get three paces before I trip over somebody crouched on the ground. "I don't know where you're going, Mr. Black," says Snape. 

I curse fluently and realise that the invisibility cloak has partly slipped off. "What the hell are you doing, crouching in doorways so people trip over you?"

I can see Snape laughing, as the moonlight shines across his face. I can also hear a wolf howling. "I have to go now, Snivellus. Find someone else to annoy!" I try to get up but Snape grabs my arm. 

"I want to know where you, James and Pumpkin-Peter go every full moon. I've noticed Lupin is always off the day after and-"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I say angrily. 

"Lupin's a werewolf," says Snape coldly.

"Don't be stupid!"

"He is. Do you remember when we tackled boggarts in third year and his boggart turned into a full moon?"

"Maybe he's scared of full moons because he's scared of meeting werewolves," I say and try vainly to escape from Snape's grip. 

"He's a werewolf," Snape says again.

"You shouldn't go round accusing people of stuff like that," I say and freeing myself from Snape's grip I get to my feet. 

Snape looks desperate. "Is it hard to accept that your pretty little boyfriend's actually a man-eating beast?!" he cries. 

"HE ISN'T A MAN-EATING BEAST! He's strong and brave and beautiful. You've never seen a werewolf, have you? They're covered in silver-gold fur and have huge amber eyes and-" What the hell am I doing? I practically just admitted that Remus is a werewolf.

"HE'S A FILTHY BEAST!" shouts Snape.

"OH GOD! DO WHAT YOU WANT! GO TO THE WHOMPING WILLOW AND PRESS THE KNOT! THEN GO DOWN THE TUNNEL! YOU CAN SEE HIM IF YOU WANT! HE'S PERFECTLY SAFE!" 

Snape looks searchingly at me, then runs off towards the whomping willow. Damn him! I know he won't do what I've said- will he? No, he's too much of a coward. I sink down to the ground. What have I done to Remus?

I've betrayed Remus.

James appears behind me. "Where have you been? What are you doing on the floor? You took so long that I left Peter and came to look for you, and-" James sees the look of horror plastered across my face. "What's up?" he asks.

"Betrayal," I murmur. "I betrayed him."

"What have you done?" questions James. He sounds worried.

I have been so stupid. "Snape started questioning me and-"

"YOU TOLD HIM REMUS' SECRET, DIDN'T YOU?"

I nod helplessly. 

"Where's Snape now?"

"I sent him to the willow," I whisper. I realise this is no longer a prank- I've sent Snape to his death. If Snape does what I told him to, then he'll come to the end of a tunnel and meet a fully-grown werewolf. How could I be so stupid? How could I do this to Remus? To Snape?

"YOU SENT SNAPE TO MOONY?!"

I nod. James stares at me for one moment, in the same way that a loyal disciple might have looked at Judas, and then transforms into a stag and gallops to the willow at full speed. 

I am Judas Iscariot. I've betrayed the only person I've ever loved. 

~~~

_Expecting hate reviews by the dozen… No really, be kind. Trust me: I'm a nice person, and I know where this story is going. _

****


	15. There's Hope

Hello again kind readers. Once more I have to thank you for such kind reviews and for trusting the author of this story. It may seem like I'm being harsh on the characters now- in fact (being the pathetic sod that I am) I was practically crying as I wrote this chapter. But things can only get better (no, honestly they _will _get better!) 

So review, be kind, and revel in the fact that Johnny Depp has kept his gold teeth from Pirates of the Caribbean. 

**~Moony's POV, Thursday 11th November~**

_Pack._

_Where is pack?_

_Where is Padfoot?_

_Moony misses Padfoot._

_Wait. What do I smell? _

_Man-flesh._

_Hungry._

_Where is the man?_

_Hungry._

_Kill._

_Kill._

_Kill._

_There is the man!_

_KILL._

_KILL._

_KILL._

_Man is going!_

_Man has been saved by stag-boy. Prongs._

_No kill for Moony tonight._

_Moony left alone._

_Padfoot abandoned Moony._

**~Remus' POV, 12th November~**

I'm sat up in a bed in the hospital ward, trying to battle with the growing knot of dread in my stomach. Hesitant rays of early sunlight drift through the window at the end of the ward but everything is silent so I gather that most of the school is yet to wake up. 

James comes into the hospital ward. His eyes are bloodshot and for the first time since I have know him he looks depressed.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

James looks at me sadly. "I should be asking you the same question," he says.

"I'm alright."

James shakes his head and pulls a chair up to my bed. He slumps down into it and puts his head into his hands. 

"What happened?" I ask fearfully. I can remember nothing about yesterday's full moon except that none of the other Marauders came to run with me and that I encountered a human while in wolf form.

James lifts his head from his hands and looks at me searchingly. "So nobody's told you?"

"No," I say with a tremor in my voice. I have to ask my question. I have to know. "Did I kill somebody last night?"  
  


A look of relief passes across James' face. "No, Remus. Nobody was harmed."

"But something did happen?"

I notice that James is clenching and unclenching his fists, as he sometimes does when angry. "Please, James! Please! You must tell me what happened. I can't wait for anybody else to. Tell me," I beg.

James takes a deep breath. "Sirius told Snape that you're a werewolf."  
  


"Sirius wouldn't-"

"He then told Snape where to find you and Snape went to the shrieking shack, where he encountered-"

"-Moony! Snape saw me! Lord, I knew I met a human last night! God, James, I was going to kill him! Kill him!" I force myself to calm down. "But Sirius wouldn't-"

James looks at the floor. "Sirius betrayed you, Remus. He went straight to Dumbledore and told him what had happened. Dumbledore has been talking to him and Snape, and to me, for the last few hours."  
  


The back of my throat has started to burn. Tears are welling in my eyes. I try one last time. "But Sirius wouldn't do that. Sirius wouldn't hurt me. He wouldn't-"

"Sirius betrayed you." James is now looking so utterly wretched that I almost pity him. Now the tears in my eyes have started to well over and my hands, which had been resting quietly on the covers, are trembling. Sirius betrayed me.

"But he loved me" I manage to protest. "He said he loved me! Why, James? Why would he do this to me?" I cry.

"I don't know," says James helplessly.

Tears, blackened by eyeliner, are dripping down onto the bed covers and staining the sheets. James sits looking awkward for a few moments, and then breaking his rule of not hugging, he wraps me in his arms. Vaguely I realise that it was James who stopped me killing Snape last night, and I want to thank him but I cannot find any words so I just cling to him. And shutting my eyes, I see the image of another black-haired boy who, try as I might, I can't see as a betrayer. 

**~Later~ **

"I'm sorry about this, Remus," says Dumbledore. "I shall have to write to your parents, of course. But I must stress that Hogwarts is happy to have you for as long as you wish to remain here."  
  


"Thanks, Sir," I say, trying not to cry again. I hate to cry as once I start it's something I have no control of. 

"If you have anything you wish to say to your parents, I can give you a few minutes to write it," Dumbledore says kindly, offering me a piece of parchment and a quill.

"No, Sir, there's nothing I'd- Wait! Yes, there is something I'd like to tell them." Grabbing the parchment, I hastily scribble a quick message: 

_My dear parents,_

_                     I was very upset and alarmed to receive such a howler yesterday. I have written no note concerning my sexuality and moreover, am in no relationship with Sirius Black of any kind._

_                                                                                                          Remus._

I hand over the message to Dumbledore who looks at me gently and reassures me that he will not read it. "You are now free to leave the hospital wing, Remus," he says.

Outside, I head automatically to the library, the day's lessons have not yet finished, and it is completely deserted. I take a book down from the charm's shelf but find that the words hold no meaning for me. 

I remember the note I gave to Dumbledore just a few minutes ago. A sudden wave of guilt washes over me. I have never before told a direct lie to my parents and I realise how Sirius must feel- his relationship with his parents has always been a web of hatred, secrets, lies and deceit. 

Thinking of Sirius, I must admit one thing to myself: betrayer or not, I still love him. 

So maybe there's hope for us yet. 


	16. Soul Mate

Hello there! Here are the usual thank yous and comments to the kind reviewers: Jasini, Ze Amaaazing Dr Cecil (magical Mistress of the Marauders? That's very good use of alliteration…),Ambika-san, Demus, Chloe Wagner, Gwen Potter, Rachel Molko (No Snape bonfires please! I happen to rather like Snape!), I r8ped Riddle, oOo- Sirius –oOo, The Demonic Duo, berethiel (I'd actually quite like to visit Austria, having watched the Sound of Music several [hundred] times! No, seriously! And my name in elvish is 'Firithrosiel'. Cool!), Gypsy Lupin-Black, theatrequeen217, fuzzyfishbowl, JadeWerewolf, LadyWillow, Uozumi (any flamers will be directly reported to you. SO you can 'butcher' them… Cheers!), Vela-chan, Morissa, SilverDiamonds, ScullyCat Marie, Aidenfire (I originally planned for Snape to send the Howler, pretending to be Remus' dad. But it works better this way because… you'll see why later. Anyhow, Remus' dad _was_ very cruel/insane/madly homophobic), BigBlackDog, ddz008, lady-yuki1, EC-Chan (sorry for depriving you of sleep!), Emily, freakyfairy, Destiny Bunny, ladyassassin (I don't have a beta…), Give the World for Mr. Black (*big hug*), Liz (thanks for saying I could write novels- it's my biggest dream to do that one day), noraseyes, Reilynn, Angelsplash67, Princess Flame and Silverfrost.     

I have a confession: The wolf thoughts, used in chapters 7 and 15, were inspired by 'Joining The Wolf Pack'. This is a fanfic written by Demus, an excellent writer but, more importantly, my best friend. This chapter is for you, darling. 

**~An Entry to Sirius Black's Journal, Monday 15th November~**

It is four days since I told Snape Remus' secret. I've been wandering around the castle grounds all weekend and in the whole time I've only caught two glimpses of poor Remus. The first time he was talking quietly with Lily and James at dinner on Saturday, and the second time I bumped into him as he was coming out of the library yesterday, with his eye makeup smeared as though he had been crying. Both times I've wanted to go up, apologise, then get on my knees and beg for forgiveness. But I've been too scared to face him. Too scared to see his hurt expression. Too scared to see the tears well in his eyes. 

I'll have to face him sometime though. 

 ****

**~An Entry to Sirius Black's Journal, Friday 19th November~**

Has the last week had a point? I certainly haven't noticed one. James has only decided to speak to me in the last hour (after giving me a good hard punch, which I felt I deserved). This week has reminded me of the time, last year, when James turned a fourth year's cat into a frog and Remus gave him detention for it. Neither James nor Peter would speak to Remus for the next week. Only I've done something far worse that turn somebody's cat green and slimy, I've betrayed my love. At night, I keep dreaming that I'm Padfoot running with Moony and everything is fine until, suddenly, Moony will turn around and say 'You betrayed me', then run off alone. I know this is stupid and I know wolves can't talk but I just can't get the dream out of my head. I swear I'm going insane.

I must talk to Remus. This has gone on long enough.

**~Sirius' POV, 9 AM, Saturday 20th November~**

I try not to make any noise as I enter our dormitory. I try not to stare at the closed curtains around Remus' bed. I know Remus is in there, hiding, and I desperately want to talk to him but I'm still scared. What if he says that he wants to end our relationship? To lose him as a lover would be bad enough; to lose him as a friend would be awful.

          "I'd like to talk if you don't mind," says Remus from behind me- he isn't hiding behind the curtains after all.

          "I don't know what to say," I answer lamely. This is the first time in the eight days since the accident that Remus had addressed himself to me. He looks slightly ill, very pale certainly, and his black-rimmed eyes are filled with questions.

          "What happened to your face?" he asks, seeing the livid bruise that has appeared by the corner of my left eye.

          "It's nothing- I fell," I say but he doesn't look link he believes me. "Okay, I sort of fell into James' fist…"

          "He hit you! He had no right to-"

          I shake my head. "James had every right to hit me. It was just something he had to do before he forgave me."  
  


          "I don't understand," says Remus and we both fall into an awkward silence. "The Sirius of a year ago would have hit James back," muses Remus eventually.

          "The Sirius of a year ago was an idiot. James is a good guy- he's everything I'm not," I reply.

          "What do you mean?"  
  


          "James never would have betrayed you."

          "And I never would have fallen in love with James." Remus beckons me over to my bed and sits down on it. I sit next to him, careful to keep a good distance between us.

          "I'm sorry, Remus."  
  


          "I know."

          "What now?" I ask tentatively.

          Remus doesn't answer. "If anybody else had done what you have, I'd never forgive them," says Remus. "But I still love you _so _much… And I feel guilty."

          "Why do you feel guilty?" I ask gently.

          "I wrote to my parents and said-"

          I smile at him. "If you told them that we weren't together, I don't mind. It isn't important. Sometimes telling lies and keeping secrets is the only possible way to be happy."  
  


          Remus sighs and runs a hand through his vibrant hair. I can see the tiny silver star glistening from his ear. "Will you have me back?" I ask with my heart beating so loudly that he must surely hear it.

          "I don't know," he says.

          "Then you have to tell me what to do, Remus, because I've said I'm sorry and you know I'll never do it again. I love you more than anything and I want to be with you."

          There is another silence and Remus lets me take his hand. "Do you want me to prove myself or something?"

          "I don't know. Maybe." He seems to think for a moment. "My head says you might tell somebody else my secret but-" Remus waves away the protest I am forming. "-My heart is telling me that you've learnt your lesson and I should take what happiness I can get."

          An enormous feeling of relief engulfs me. "God, Remus! I swear I'll never take anything for granted again!" I pull Remus into a bone-crushing hug and kiss his mane of hair. "I promise I'll never do anything to hurt you again… I've been so stupid…To think what I could have lost! But you must know, I've never loved anyone else… I'll never love anybody but you, darling."

          I feel Remus tense up. "You mustn't make promises," he says. "You don't know what it'll be like when I'm gone. Maybe they'll be someone else."

          "Never!"

          Remus pulls himself out of my arms. "I need sometime to think." He gets up and walks out of the dormitory, taking my heart with him.

~**Midday ~**

"What did Remus say?" asks James, as we sit playing exploding snap.

          "He said he loves me."  
  


          "Well, that's good, isn't it mate?"

          I look imploringly at James. "I don't know. He doesn't seem to understand how much _I_ love _him_. He thinks that when he goes away I'll meet somebody else…"  
  


          "You might," says James.

          "No! I think its quite possible to be in love with the same person for a lifetime. I think that everybody has a soul mate and that once they've met them, there's nobody-"

          "Maybe Remus isn't your soul mate," says James matter-of-factly.

          I shake my head. "He is." And something in my tone of voice must have persuaded James that I was right because he smiles at me and nods. "The child of the moon and the boy named after a star…" he murmurs.

          Then the cards explode in James' face and we start to laugh like we did when we were first years and the novelty of this game had not yet worn off.

          "I have an idea," I say after we stop laughing.

          "Yes?"  
  


          "Do you think you could get Remus to come down to the side of the lake nearest the castle for about eight O'clock?"

          James looks at me, puzzled. "Why?"  
  


          "Just do it, Prongs. You'd be doing me a favour. It would make up for this bruise you've given me."

          "You deserved that," he says. "But I'll do it anyway because I think you two deserve to be happy."

          "Cheers, mate," I say, getting up and walking over to the staircase leading to our dormitory. However, before I've even set foot on the lowest stair, James' strong arm has barred my way. "What is it?" I ask.

          James glances over his shoulder then, with the air of someone betraying a confidence, he murmurs: "Remus got a letter from his parents yesterday."  
  


          "So?"

          "Well, he seemed totally ready to forgive you, and then this letter arrived and he ran off looking pale. He told me not to mention the letter to you."

          "It's probably nothing," I say nervously, secretly thinking that Remus has probably received more bad news.

**~8 O'clock~**

Lord, these leather trousers are tight!

It's all very well Remus saying they're sexy but he doesn't have to wear them! OUCH!

I sit down cautiously on the stool and try to ignore the people staring at me. I can't blame them for staring- it's not every day that somebody devotes their entire Saturday afternoon to constructing an outdoor stage (more of a simple platform) with steps leading up to it and lit with strobe lights in every colour I could think of (I've borrowed everything off Orion, the guy who runs the club where I took Remus and who, according to the werewolf, spent the entire night 'drooling and staring at my arse'). 

On the stage is a thick carpet of silver glitter and amidst it all, the single stool that I'm sat on. Sat clutching a guitar, I might add.

          The stage is facing the castle, with the lake in the background. The sky is a deep blue velvet curtain with tiny pinprick stars shining down. I notice that Sirius is shining especially bright in the heavens. "Wish me luck, star," I say, and then start strumming on my guitar.

          A crowd of students soon gather round me. Most, wrapped up against the cold night, sit down on the floor and fish sweets out of their pockets. All of them have come to listen to me, the crazy boy who has spent half the day preparing for a concert he never bothered to advertise. I keep playing my guitar, a gentle melody, and watch as yet more people gather round my stage, until about a hundred are there. Word has travelled quickly for so many people to hear about my concert. Suddenly I spot James Potter approaching, and next to him is the small figure of Remus Lupin wearing his leather coat and a long black scarf.

          I stop playing the guitar and a hush falls on the crowd. "I've recently had to apologise to someone in this crowd; someone who means a lot to me. I can't make that person forgive me and take me back but I can sing a song for them and hope, against hope, that it'll do the trick. So here goes…"

          I play the introductory chords to 'You're All I Need' by the Magic Mushrooms, the song that has come to mean so much to Remus and me. It sounds different and perhaps a little better with only a guitar playing and none of the other instruments. Then I start singing-

"_When we were younger,_

_We spent all our days,_

_Dreaming of lovers_

_And love's perfect haze_

_Love's perfect haze-,___

_But now we have grown up,_

_And we know about love,_

I realise you're my Angel 

_Sent from above._

_Sent from above._

_You're all I've ever wanted,_

_You're all I'll ever need._

_You take away the pain now,_

_You're all I'll ever need._

_And baby, you're my hero,_

_You're all I'll ever need._

_You're all I'll ever need._

_          All I'll ever need._

_I've known you for years _

_And just been your friend,_

_Through good times and bad,_

_My love didn't end._

_It didn't end-_

As I sing I manage to forget about everything, except the beautiful boy watching me, and the words that I hope will make everything right. I'm not the greatest singer alive, I pale in comparison to Peter (weird, huh?) but I can play the guitar well and I know the lyrics of 'You're All I'll Ever Need' off by heart so I needn't even think before singing them. I actually close my eyes for the end of the song and when I sing the last words and reopen them I can see James but not Remus. The crowd of students is cheering wildly but most of their eyes are fixed on a point just over my right shoulder.

"Well, you're certainly better looking than the Magic Mushroom's lead singer," whispers Remus in my right ear. 

"TAKE HIM BACK!" shouts the crowd.

"FORGIVE HIM!" 

"SIRIUS BLACK, FORGET YOUR BOYFRIEND AND GO OUT WITH ME!!!"

Ignoring the crowd, Remus smiles gently but sadly at me. "It was a good performance," he says.

"Let's go back to how we were before _it _happened," I plead.

Remus looks surprisingly grim. "I'm scared, Siri," he says. "I got a letter from my parents yesterday and it said, Oh God! How can I tell you this? It said that I'm going to Beauxbatons early. I'm leaving next week, Sirius. I'm leaving Hogwarts."  

I get off my stool and stand facing Remus in silence. The crowd continues to shout at us but I don't care what they're saying.

After a couple of minutes Remus speaks. "I don't want to go," he says. 

"Is there nothing you can do to postpone it?"

"I can try. By God, I'll try." A single tear trickles down Remus' cheek and quite suddenly he's in my arms. I cling to him desperately and wonder to whom I'll cling to when he's gone.

Then I kiss him firmly on the lips to reassure myself that he's still here.

The crowd cheers. 

            
  



	17. The Bastard!

Thanks to all these fabulous, kind, wonderful, sweet, fantastic and altogether brilliant people: Chloe Wagner, Lady-Sirhasisi, freakyfairy, Princess Flame, Rachel Molko (Snape thanks you for not putting him on a bonfire!), Liz (*big hug*), LadyWillow (Your cliff hangers are far worse that mine! theatrequeen217, q, Gwen Potter, JadeWerewolf, Mistress of the Manuscript (Look on the bright side- fanfiction.net banned me for 10 days earlier this year!!!), Aidenfire, noraseye, berethiel (*very big hug*), Destiny Bunny, Demus ('a bittersweet triumph of life through adversity'- you're slightly weird darling *g*), Vela-chan, Yours Truly, Paranoid, I r8ped Riddle, Lady Stone, A.L. Lorraine (It's not a snob school. It just doesn't have Sirius Black *****sob*), ScullyCat Marie (Cheers, darling!), Uozumi (I'm glad you're got your 'spiffy Rambo gear' *g*), The Demonic Duo, Robby Moon (I'm quite happy to be called lovey but, alas, have no cure for constant singing of 'Bad Moon Rising'. V. sorry about that, lovey. Now can I call you that?) Ambika-san, Nine1, ddz008, Morissa, chiabojangles, Fade to Black (*hugs*), Sakurelf, Burning-Yami-Rain, Gypsy Lupin-Black, Lady Sundig, BigBlackDog, stonegoddess21, Give the World for Mr. Black, madkornfan and Remus-is-my-sweetie. Love to all!   

This is a 'two chapters at once' update- isn't that exciting? 

**~Remus' POV, Saturday 20th November, after the concert~**

"Do it!" hisses Sirius. 

"Okay, okay… Hand me the floo powder!"  
  


I kneel down on the hearth of the Gryffindor common room's fire. For the second time tonight I'm being stared at but Sirius doesn't seem to care so why should I? I take a handful of floo powder off Sirius, accept a lingering kiss (some of the students watching us whoop and catcall), and then I use the floo powder to transport my head and torso to my parent's châteaux. 

"Mum! Father! Anyone!" Nobody answers my call and so I'm free just to leave the letter that Sirius and I have written. It says how everybody at Hogwarts understands that the howler meant nothing, how I don't want to leave James and Peter yet and how, as I've said before, I don't have any sort of relationship with Sirius Black.

"You left it then?" asks Sirius as I remove my head from the flames.

"Yes, on their hearth rug."  
  


Sirius grins at me- that mad, happy, toothy grin that he only uses with James and myself. "We're fine then. Your father will get home from bridge club, your mum from pottery class, and they'll find your note."  
  


"And, realising that I'm happy, they'll let me stay at Hogwarts until Christmas."

"Exactly, pup. Now I'm absolutely shattered and will be going to bed. Might I expect you to join me there?"

"I dare say you might."  
  


**~Sunday 21st November~**

Sirius Black is usually up at the crack of dawn. He says he doesn't want to miss one minute of a day because life's too short to waste time in bed. However, once in a while Sirius just seems to tire himself out and then he will sleep…and sleep…and then sleep a bit more. When this happens nothing will wake him and it will be mid-afternoon before he rises.

            Today is one of those days. When I woke early this morning I was curled up next to Sirius, in his bed, and he was snoring like a baby. Two hours later, unwilling to leave his side as I am, I could not bear to stay in bed a moment longer without some food in my stomach. So I went downstairs to breakfast, found Lily fawning over James like a love-sick school girl (which, in fact, is exactly what she is) and Peter blushing as a Hufflepuff girl with puffy hair smiled at him from across the room. I quickly decided that Peter wasn't going to be good company, and that James wouldn't want disturbing, so I wrapped four slices of buttered toast in a napkin and started to head back upstairs to a sleeping Sirius.

            That was when my father's owl ambushed me. It's a particularly vicious owl, affectionately referred to as Satan, and it pecked me until I relieved it of its letter and had given it a full slice of toast.

            So that accounts for everything that has happened so far this morning and for why I'm lying in bed with Sirius, eating toast and opening the letter that will contain my fathers agreement that I can stay at Hogwarts until Christmas.   

            _My Dear Son,_

_                                    I owe you a thousand apologies for the way I have treated you with the Howler and I know now that you would never fall for that Sirius Black's dubious charms. I understand that the two of you are no longer friends and I am glad- those Blacks have always been trouble… _

_                                    After receiving your message last night I must salute your bravery, dear Remus. I can only imagine the pain I have put you through with my thoughtless (and extremely misjudged) accusations and I must emphasise that there is no need to prove yourself to me._

_                                    Yes, dear son, I know that that is what you are doing- I know you think it is cowardly to leave Hogwarts early. You think that counts as running away. I assure you it does not. And that is why I have arranged for an IWTA taxi to pick you up first thing on Friday morning. _

_                                    Do not argue with me. And do not think you have to consort with that bastard, Sirius Black, just because you are leaving and you were once friends._

_                                    Yours sincerely,_

_                                                            Jean-Paul Lupin._

"'Bastard'! You're the bastard, father!"

            I may well be the only person to have ever successfully awoken Sirius Black from one of his 'sleeps'. 

            "What is it, darling?" he mumbles sleepily.

            "I've got my father's reply," I say.

            Sirius sits up looking perfectly awake. "And he says you can stay, doesn't he?"

            Wordlessly, I hand Sirius the letter. "The bastard!" he cries after reading it.

            "I do believe that's what I said."

            "You left him a letter saying you're completely happy and he takes that to mean you're actually being brave because you are, in fact, totally miserable."

            "Yes."

            "What's the IWTA?"

            "International Wizarding Transport Association." 

            Sirius scans over the letter again "Such a bastard… I hate your father, Remus. 'Those Blacks have always been trouble'," He quotes. "Now that's hardly fair!"

            "Your mother did try to start a 'werewolf concentration camps' movement in our third year, Sirius," I remind him. "The slogan was 'Ban The Beasts'."

            "That's besides the point! My mother doesn't have enough influence in the ministry to get a 'caldron depths inspection', let alone have werewolves put in concentrations camps. Everyone hears my surname and assumes that I'm just like the rest of my family- stupid, rich, arrogant pigs. I love you and-"

            "-Nothing else matters," I say. "I guess I'm leaving on Friday."

            "Five days left," says Sirius. He bows his head so that his electric-blue hair falls down over his face and looks totally heartbroken. I hug him tight and resign myself to my fate.

            ~~~

            _Review! Or go and read the next chapter!_


	18. Wedding Ring

This is an account of Remus' last week at Hogwarts- so it's a bit of a sad chappie *author begins to weep*.

Warning: so sweet you may get toothache. So sad you may cry. There is a definite health risk involved with this much fluff and angst. 

**~Sirius' POV, Monday 22nd November~**

            "Sirius, love, lessons start in twenty minutes. Now is not a good time to decide you want to paint my toenails!"

            I push him roughly onto my bed. "Sit," I command. He sits obediently. 

            "What colour?" I ask him.

            Surveying the colours (dark blue, emerald green, purple, black and maroon) he hesitatingly picks up the blue bottle and hands it to me. 

            "In ten minutes time, monsieur, your toe nails will be painted with chip-proof, long-lasting, quick-drying, scented, sparkling nail polish."

            He looks at me suspiciously. "Scented?"

            "Yes," I reply, as I set to work on Remus' left foot. Then I carefully paint one strip down the centre and one down either side of each toenail. 

            "Why are you using nail polish anyway? When you were in the hospital ward you were charming your nails different colours."

            I smile sheepishly at him. "It was funny that. You see whatever colour I painted my nails, they always turned pink after a couple of hours."  
  


            "Pink too girly for you? Lady Sirius…" he teases.

            I growl at him again.

            He pouts. "That's not very nice behaviour…"  
  


            "Grrrrr!!!" I pounce on the werewolf, wrestle him down until I'm sat on top of him, and hold the nail polish brush, with a drop of polish about to drip off it, just above his head. "We've been over this, darling. I'm the man in this relationship. I do the teasing, savvy?"

            Remus lies placidly beneath me and I feel something stir in the pit of my stomach as I realise just how much he would let me do if I just asked. So innocent and sweet…

            Remus pushes me off him, springs up with lightning speed and pushing me to the bed, pins me down. "I'm the man in the relationship, dearest and if you ever want reminding I shall tell you three words: 'Glam Rock Highwayman'." 

He does an excellent impression of myself. "I'm your boyfriend. I'm allowed to tease you, savvy?"

**~Tuesday 23rd November~**

            "Ouch… God!" I'm trying to put on my robes but the aching in my left arm is not helping.

I can't deny that it hurt. Okay, 'hurt' is an understatement. I'm scared of needles and it was bloody agony. I would have used magic, but wizards don't really go in for tattoos…

            "Where the hell have you been?" cries Remus entering the dormitory and looking angry.

            "What's up? I've only been gone a couple of hours."

            "You didn't show up for dinner," he says and then his face softens. "Oh, Sirius, you think I'm being stupid, don't you?"

            "No," I say, pulling him toward me and kissing the soft hair round his temple.    

            Remus sighs and leans into my embrace so that I wrap him in my arms. "It's just that we've only got three days left and I don't want us to spend a moment apart," he says softly.

            Whenever he mentions leaving my heart melts and tears prickle my vision. I don't think anybody has ever been as madly in love with another person as I am with Remus. What am I going to do without him? 

            "I love you," murmurs Remus and I can feel his warm breath against my neck. 

            "Friday isn't the end, you know? We're going to live forever, Moony and that means we're going to love forever too." 

            There's a long pause as Remus considers my words. "Of course we're going to live forever. You're perfectly right," he says eventually.

            "Good. What time is it?"  
  


            "Ten"

            "Right. So James and Peter won't be up here for a while yet. I've got something to show you."

            "Yes?"  
  


            I end our embrace and start to role up the left sleeve of my purple robes.

            "No!" cries Remus suddenly, his kohl-lines eyes opening extremely wide. 

            "What?" I ask, alarmed at his sudden change in behaviour.

            "Not you… Please not you…"says Remus helplessly, reaching in his robes for his wand. Suddenly, I realise what it must look like I'm doing. 

            "No, Remus. Listen, it's a tattoo not the Dark Mark! What were you thinking? I'm not a dark wizard!" 

            Remus hastily stops rooting for his wand and sits down on the nearest bed, which happens to be James'. "I'm so sorry…" he says shakily.

            "It's alright," I say, feeling slightly shaken myself. "I know the rest of my family are a bit undesirable but- I would never do that, Remus. I'm the one who's sorry. Maybe I should have gotten the tattoo on my right arm!" 

            "Let's see it then," says Remus. There's a huge smile of relief across his face.

            I finish rolling up my sleeve and grimacing slightly, I rip off the bandage on the top of my arm. Underneath is a picture of a full moon and a star, and underneath is the letter _M _in ornate script. "M for 'Moony', of course," I explain.

            Remus grins broadly at me. "Is that permanent?" he asks.

            "There till the day I die," I confirm.

            Remus laughs and pulls my arm toward his so he can examine the tattoo more closely. "Die? But I thought we're going to live forever, Sirius." 

**~Wednesday 24th November~**

            "I'm sorry about the dark mark incident, Sirius," says Remus as we finish lessons for the day.

            "Don't apologise. I know these are dark times and-"

            "But I never should have even suspected you! I should have known you'd never be a Death Eater!"

            I hoist my heavy bag up and leave the Transfiguration classroom with Remus by my side. "God, I have loads of homework," I say to change the subject. 

            "I haven't been given any since Monday because I'm leaving, so I'll help you with yours," promises Remus as we walk up a long flight of stairs.

            I laugh. "Hey, I said I had loads of homework; I didn't say I was going to do it!"

            "Sirius!" scolds Remus as we reach the portrait hall. "_Purple Haze_," he says, frowning at the weird password.

            "It's a Jimi Hendrix song," I explain as we clamber enter the common room. "He's a muggle- great guitarist." 

            There are already lots of tired students in the room; some are sitting at the tables to do their homework while others sprawl in the many armchairs. Yet all of them look up as we enter and there are many cheers and not a few playful wolf whistles. Most of Gryffindor (and most of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw too) really seem to have taken Remus and I to their hearts since my concert last week. 

"How are the star-crossed lovers?" cries James, coming towards us with Lily by his side. 

            "Honestly, James. Don't call us that. We're not Romeo and Juliet!" mumbles Remus, looking slightly embarrassed at all the attention we're getting.

            "I don't know about that. There are certain parallels," I say.

            "Like my family keeping us apart," says Remus, warming to the idea.

            "And I am one hell of a Romeo!"

            "Sirius!"

            I lean down and kiss the still-blushing Remus. There are even more wolf whistles and Lily gives a loud cry of 'Aawwww!' 

            Remus looks round at all the people watching us and then, quite bravely, he climbs onto a table and addresses thecommon room. "I presume most of you know that I'm leaving Hogwarts on Friday. I'm going to Beauxbatons in France and what I really want to say is I'm going to miss all of you. I've had the time of my life here and-" Remus breaks off and blinks back tears. "- And I hope to see some of you again someday." 

~**Potions, Thursday 25th November~**

            "WHY AREN'T YOU CONCENTRATING, MR BLACK!!!!!"

            I stop staring at my desk and look up to meet Professor Death's eyes. "I was dreaming about Mr Lupin," I say and grin at Remus. "My boyfriend," I add for good measure.

            "YOU SHALL LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING! YOUR N.E.W.T.S ARE NEXT YEAR AND IF YOU DON'T START TRYING HARDER THEN YOU WILL FAIL YOUR POTIONS EXAM!!!"

            I raise my eyebrows at Remus. "Frankly, Professor, I don't give a damn."

            **~Friday, 26th December~        **

I'm standing at the main entrance to Hogwarts with Remus Lupin. James and Peter have just left us, James looking solemn, Peter weeping openly. This is the end for the Marauders.

            "The taxi will be here in a couple of minutes," says Remus in a croaky voice.

            I have planned what I'm going to say next in advance. "This isn't the end, Remus. You're seventeen and I'll be that age in a week; we've got less that two years of school ahead of us and then we're free to make our own decisions. And I've been wondering if-"

            "I'd love to live with you, Sirius," says Remus earnestly. 

            "You would? Honestly?" I ask incredulously. "Oh God, Remus! Do you know you've just made me the happiest glam rock highwayman alive?!"

            He smiles for the first time today and gives me a big hug. As we move apart I see a lime green taxi soaring over the Forbidden Forest. "There's your taxi," I manage to say hoarsely. 

            "Oh." Remus and I look away from each other, quite unsure what to say now. "James has your birthday present," says Remus after a while.

            "Thank you," I reply. The taxi lands metres away from us and an impatient driver leans out of the window. "Hurry up, lads," he shouts.

            "I have something else for you but I don't know quite what to say about it," says Remus.

            "Then just give it and don't say anything." My voice is shaking slightly.

            And so Remus kisses me. It's a bit of a frantic kiss, all tongues and hands and hair and warm, salty tears, and I don't think either of us wants it to end. "I love you," Remus says afterwards.

            "I love you too," I reply.

            And then Remus is climbing into the taxi and the driver is loading his trunk into the back. I don't even watch as he flies away, leaving me sad, cold and alone. 

            It's only as I reach the castle that I open my hand and gaze intently at the plain gold wedding ring that Remus pressed into my hand while we kissed. 

  
  



	19. Going Home

          Hello! Chapter 19 here- only three more chapters after this! I have to apologise though. This is the only chapter without Sirius and is set entirely in France. So don't expect it to be happy. And for the record all the conversations in this chapter take place in French. 

          Thanks to w a r r i o r G [ i r ] L, madkornfan, Aubrey Miercoles (yeah, fanfiction over Mrs Jellicoe anytime…), Rachel Molko, Chloe-Wagner, fuzzyfishbowl, o0o- Sirius –o0o, SB for Me, Ambika-san, Vela-chan, Robby Moon (no… I hate happy endings…), Destiny Bunny, I r8ped Riddle, Fade to Black, Uozumi, Polkat, warriorGL (I've been to a gay wedding in Spain. But no, same-sex marriages aren't legal in the wizarding world), JadeWerewolf, The Demonic Duo, Gypsy Lupin-Black, ladyassassin, Dani Lupin and Joss Malfoy, BigBlackDog, Chevaux (uuummm… Johnny Depp in leather pants…), Gwen Potter, Lady Sirhasisi, theatrequeen217, freakyfairy, Lady Sundig, DARKMEW13, A.L. Lorraine, ScullyCat Marie, Moondoggy, Give the World for Mr. Black, Sakurelf, Lady Stone, Demus (missed you, darling), Berethiel (1.) Yes, I know what I'm doing. 2.) Angst is sort of like 'misery'. 3.) Savvy is put on the end of sentences to mean 'do you understand?'. Anyway, enjoy the chapter and loads of love from England!), tinuviel42 (No! The _most_ gorgeous person ever is Sean Bean from Lord of the Rings!!!), emma57, Princess Flame, Never You Mind That, Mistress of the Manuscript, xMadgirlx, Mordecai, Chloe Sparrow (Sorry if all the French in this story seem to be so awful. They're only awful because Sirius isn't French. And sorry for keeping you up late as well!), Lady DeathAngel, Liz, Kalra, Yuki Bombay, Aidenfire, Bittersweet and Silver Diamonds. 

**~Remus' POV, His Parent's Chateau in France, Saturday 27th November~**

The Remus Lupin staring back at me out of the bathroom mirror doesn't look like me. He looks pale and defiant and sort of… sexy. He's got stunning red hair, dark against his white skin, and black-rimmed eyes. He also has an earring. 

          Shaking my head, I remove the earring from my ear and hastily shut it away in a jewellery box. Looking at it will only make me sentimental. 

          I take a wet flannel and rub the eyeliner from round my eyes. Slowly the sexy man reflected in the mirror is turning back into the plain boy he used to be. Me. "There's no glitter to hide behind now, Remus," I murmur.

          Then I put on the powder blue Beauxbatons robes and gaze into the mirror. The reflection gazes back at me sadly.

          I turn away.

          **~Monday 29th November~**

Beaxbatons is not a castle like Hogwarts but a manor house, surrounded by modern outbuildings where the dormitories are. The manor itself is huge and imposing, built of grey stone and with ugly gargoyles above the main doors. Inside its full of polished marble and gold leaf, and looks more like a hotel than a school. It's a far cry from the comfortable homeliness of Hogwarts.

          "My name is Remus Lupin. I'm from Hogwarts," I say to the witch sitting behind a high spindly-legged desk in the office next to the main entrance. 

          The witch gives me a huge smile. She's plump with rosy cheeks and a great main of red hair that seems to grow outwards instead of downwards. She's also the only thing that is remotely welcoming in this horrible grey building. "Ahhhh yes…" she says, leafing though a mound of paperwork. "You're going to be joining sixth year, aren't you?" She doesn't wait for my answer but thrusts a pile of forms and a quill into my hands and watches carefully as I fill them in. 

          "My name is Madame Reniér. I'm the secretary, nurse and agony aunt for the school. If you have any problems don't hesitate to come to me," the woman says once I've filled in all the forms. 

           She then flashes me another big smile and directs me to go to the seventh dorm in the third outbuilding.   

          The dorm that is to become my home is basically the whole fourth floor of a large brick outbuilding, about three hundred yards from Beauxbatons Manor. Inside there is nothing but eight sturdy beds with a trunk at the end of each. There is nobody in there but a small sandy-haired boy sat on a bed with his nose buried in a book. "Hello. I'm Remus Lupin," I introduce myself. 

          The boy looks up, startled by my sudden appearance. "I'm Luc Dupont. That bed is yours." He points to the bed next to his. Then he looks at me suspiciously. "Are you English?" he asks.

          "Yes," I answer nervously, wondering if perhaps pupils here don't like the English for some reason. "My dad's French," I add nervously.

          "One of my grandparents is English," he says, still looking suspicious. 

"Really?"

          "Yes."

          "Oh."

          "Yes."

          I'm beginning to discover two things- one: Luc isn't very easy to talk to and two: the look of suspicion is actually his normal look. Still, he's the only person in this bleak French school who looks like he could be become my friend and so I smile at him.  

A heart-wrenching feeling of loneliness sweeps over me as I suddenly think of a tall thin boy, a good five inches taller than Luc, with warm eyes and a gentle laughing smile. 

**~Later~**

"Everyone, this is Remus Lupin. He's joining us from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

Twenty pairs of eyes stare at me intently. Someone on the back row of the classroom giggles. "You can sit down, Remus," says the Madame Theroux, the teacher, kindly. I sit down next to Luc (who is sat all by himself and looks immensely glad to have finally found a friend) at the front of the room and try to get used to the idea of having one teacher for all the different subjects.

"In 'Magical Creatures Studies' this term we're going to be looking at half-breeds-"

_Bloody brilliant._

"-The most famous half-breed is of course-"

_Go on. Say it. Make me feel special. _

"-The werewolf. Werewolves suffer from the condition known as-"

_Lycanthropy.  _

"Lycanthropy. Sadly they are generally considered to be the dregs of society and seldom have any friends-"

_Unless, of course, they meet the Marauders._

"One of the most noticeable differences between the werewolf and the normal wolf is the tufted tail. Also, werewolves are reputed to be lacking in the beauty of the ordinary wolf."

_Sirius said Moony is the second most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Second only to myself. _

"There are extensive notes on werewolves in chapter 15 of 'Curious Creatures Volume Two', which I would like you all to summarise in a paragraph for our next Magical Creatures lesson." Madame Theroux, a slender woman of about thirty with huge thick-rimmed glasses and a lop-sided smile, looks round the classroom to see if everyone has copied down the homework. "Now, can anyone name me any other half-breeds?" 

**~Friday 3rd December~**

Seven days without Sirius. Five days at Beauxbatons. Five days of friendship with Luc Dupont. Five days of isolation from anyone but Luc Dupont. 

It took me less than a day to learn that Luc is a complete social outcast. He constantly tries to please me but with his non-existant social skills, the effect is slightly pathetic. I feel desperately sorry for him. Then again, I feel sorry for anybody who has never had the good fortune to meet Sirius Black.

I wonder what Sirius thought of the wedding ring.

No! I mustn't think of Sirius. I shall do my homework, precious little of it compared with Hogwarts, and hope that it will take my mind off things.

**~Saturday 4th December~**

          I'm alone in the dormitory when I stub my toe on my trunk. "Owww!"

          Luc appears out of nowhere (he always seems to be around when you think your alone). "Sit down. I'm a trained healer!" 

          "That's what I'm afraid of!" I cry.

          It's too late. Luc has forced me into a chair, pulled off my shoes and socks and-

          "Why are you wearing blue nail varnish?"

          Shit.

**            ~Monday 6th December~**

          Three letters arrived this morning. The first two are from Peter and my father respectively. Both are so short they barely deserve to be called a 'letter':

_Dear Remus,_

_                           I am having a wonderful time. Lily is helping me with my homework just like you used to and there's been another Hogwarts weekend. It was great fun. Nothing else to say,_

_                                                                                                          Peter._

_                             P.S. Sharon Mitchell (Hufflepuff) is my new girlfriend. Wey-hey!  _

Trust Peter to make my feel missed.

          _My dear son,_

_                             Your mother and I have decided to go on a second honeymoon over Christmas. You will be enjoying the festivities at Beauxbatons with all your new friends,_

_                                                                                      Your father._

Christmas at Beauxbatons with Luc. And I thought life couldn't get any worse. I turn to read the last letter hoping it contains some good news. No such luck.

_Dear Remus,_

_                             I am, of course, missing you terribly. We all are. Somehow everything seems a lot less 'balanced' without you. Three is never the same as four; think of the musketeers- where would Athos, Porthos and Aramis have been without D'Artagne? Or the four horsemen of the apocalypse- War, Famine and Pestilence are not half so formidable without Death. Okay, maybe that isn't such a great example. The point is the Marauders have broken up and it breaks my heart. _

_Sirius is breaking my heart too. I'd rather he just acted heartbroken but he doesn't. He seems to be constantly grim- I haven't seen him smile properly since you left. The only sign of 'Siriusness' I've seen recently is when he put a triple dose of sneezing powder in Professor Death's breakfast cereal. Four days on and the bitch is still sneezing._

_I'm sorry for not sending happier news but there doesn't seem to be a lot. _

_   James._

At the bottom of the letter is a hastily scribbled word, probably added as an afterthought: _brothers._

****

**~Monday 13th December~**

"God, I have so much homework!" cried Luc as we sit down in the Beaxbatons library (not half so big as the one at Hogwarts but with more extensive charms section). 

          "I got more at Hogwarts," I say.

          Luc looks flabbergasted. "Then you mustn't have had time for any fun. When did you meet girls?" 

          I almost remind Luc that he neither does anything fun nor talks to anyone but me, let alone goes out with girls. However, I decide not to upset my only friend here and instead find myself slipping into my memories of Hogwarts: staying up late in first year, charmed snow ball fights in second year, James discovering girls in third year and girls discovering James in fourth year, the fifth year O.W.Ls and then the beginning of this year, which seems to me to be a merge of glitter and dancing and stolen kisses with a tall beautiful boy.   

          "Can I borrow a pencil?" asks Luc, interrupting my memories.

          "Yes, of course."  
  


          I hand Luc a pencil form my bag. He stares at it as though he's never seen one before. "What's wrong?" I ask.

          Luc gives me a strange look. "Why are you carrying an eyeliner pencil in your bag?"    

****

**            ~Friday 17th December, The Last Day of Term~**

****

****I'm shocked to find the five of the six other boys who share my dormitory rummaging through my trunk when I enter the dormitory. The remaining boy, the ringleader it would appear, is holding onto the struggling Luc Dupont.

****

"What are you doing?" I demand. It's the first time I've even spoken to the six other boys (all of whom fit the descriptions of Lucius Malfoy's cronies, Crabbe and Goyle). 

The one holding Luc laughs scornfully. "This little bastard said you wear eyeliner and nail varnish, Loony-Lupin. We wondered what other dirty secrets you might be hiding."

"You've no right to be-" I begin but a voice cuts me off.

"Look what we've found, Gerard!" shouts one of the boys to the ringleader. Luc has stopped struggling and seems to want to know what they've found in my trunk. A deep sense of dread forms in my stomach.

The feeling of dread turns into blind anger as I see all six boys gloating over a photograph. Luc, still in the grasp of Gerard, is also staring wide eyed at the photo.

"Give me that!"

"So you're a bloody queer are you, Loony?"

"GIVE ME THAT!"

"Awww… Loony wants his photograph back," Gerard waves the photo at me. "Why don't you come and fight me for it? Or are you too much of a-" 

He's cut off mid-sentence as my fist slams into his face.

I snatch the photograph out of the astonished boy's hand and run out of the dormitory, out of Beauxbatons, and to the nearest main road where I stick my left arm out in the hope of catching a lift. I'm going home.

Tightly clutched in my right hand is a photograph of two young glam rockers kissing. 

          ****


	20. Stark Naked

Thanks to: The Evil Cup of Tea, I r8ped Riddle, Uozumi (I hope you're not on a downward spiral right now?), Robyn Anne, Lady Stone, Vela-chan, Lady Sundig of the Wired, Water Sprite, Gwen Potter, Liver Beazard, ddz008, fuzzyfishbowl, Mordecai, madkornfan, Jasini, Magical Mistress of the Manuscript, xMadgirlx, Chloe-Wagnner freakyfairy, Polkat, Lauren, Mr D. Grey (Mawkish? It's not mawkish! Well, maybe a little bit…), Rachel Molko, q, Kristi, JadeWerewolf, Ambika-san, A.L. Lorraine, Kitsuna-Ri, Lady DeathAngel, Ice Princess, Flamingo, Fade to Black, Demus (sends heaps of virtual love), tinuviel42 (SEAN BEAN RULES!!! *ahem*), Lady Sirhasisi, Give the World for Mr. Black, Celestial Drgn, Lighthouse Stripes, bard (Wow, Canada! I used to live in Alberta when I was very little!), riyna*riddle, Apona, red-eyed-rose, Eilonwy, ladyassassin (Stuart Townsend! Stand corrected, darling: Sean Bean _is_ the fittest bloke on earth. :) Despite being in his forties, with kids and several divorces…) noraseyes, {*mariatortia*}, violentstrom32 and Princess Flame. 

            Remus has come home…

**~Sirius' POV, 17th December, At James' house for the Christmas holiday~******

Shivering, I leave the bathroom. It's my own private bathroom, and adjoins my bedroom, which is very nice as it means I'm free to walk around naked. As I'm doing now. Behind me I leave a trail of water as I've just got out of the shower and haven't dried my hair properly.

          Downstairs I hear the doorbell and the sound of the storm outside as the door is opened, then James' voice. I stand stock-still and wonder if James possibly said what I think he did: "Remus?"  
  


          I shake my head and decide I'm imagining things. 

          I bend down to find some clean jeans in the bottom draw of the large chest in my room. Suddenly, I get the overwhelming feeling that somebody is watching me. "Who's there?" I say, too afraid to turn around, in case it's not who I think it is.

          "I am," says Remus.

          I get up and turn around to look at him; he's soaked to the skin and looks almost unfamiliar in pale blue Beauxbatons robes. I just stand and stare at him- stark naked- for God knows how many minutes. "How?" I manage to ask.

          "I didn't like France," he says quietly. I try to work out what he's thinking. I want to see if he's changed- if our relationship has changed. Has he found somebody else? Is he still gay? Am I still his boyfriend? Then I realise that Remus is staring at me too and the tension in the air is unbearable but I can't seem to break it.

          Eventually it's Remus who breaks the silence. "Nice arse," he says, with this crazy half-smile playing on his lips.

          "Oh God," I mumble, still unable to find the words to express how I'm feeling. Then Remus runs across the room and we're hugging each other tightly. I'm naked and he's very wet and none of it matters.

          "I came home," he says quietly, with his head buried in my neck.

          "I know."  
  


          "I couldn't stay for a second more," he adds.

          "It's alright."

          "I love you"

          "I know."

          Then I release him and go to the bathroom where I find him a towel to dry himself off with. "You must be freezing," I say gently. 

          He shrugs his shoulders. "I'm alright. I'd like a cup of tea, though." He seems to be looking at me strangely.   
  


          "Tea. Right. I'll go downstairs and get you some." I walk over to the door and open it, feeling his gaze burning into my back.

          "Sirius?"

          "Yes?"

           "You do realise you're naked, don't you?"

          Blushing, I manage to find a pair of jeans and pull them on.

          ~~~

          James greets me downstairs. He's grinning like a maniac. "How did he get here? Is he staying? For how long?"

          I'm forced to tell James that I don't have a clue. 

          James stops grinning and looks at me soberly. "You are happy, aren't you?" he says eventually. 

          "Oh God, yes! Of course! I love him! It's just-" I stop, not sure what's wrong.

          "Go on."  
  


          "I don't want to lose him all over again." The sick feeling of hurt washes over me as I imagine having to say goodbye again.

          James doesn't seem to understand. "Look, mate, you should be telling Remus this, not me. He looks like an absolute wreck, and he's just been through weeks of hell and-"

          "You're right," I say and start to dash back up the stairs.

          "SIRIUS!" James calls after me. 

          "WHAT?"  
  


          "I SENT A HOUSE ELF UP WITH SOME TEA FIVE MINUTES AGO!"

          ~~~

          Remus is sat on my bed sipping scolding tea when I come back into my bedroom. He looks up at me helplessly. "I caught the Knight Bus to James' house. I didn't know what else to do," he says, putting the cup of tea down and looking rather bedraggled. 

          I come and sit next to him, preparing to say and do what I'd been dreaming about for the last month. In the dreams I always gave a wonderful, eloquent declaration of love and then kissed him gently.

          In the reality, I open my mouth, and then before I can say a word, I burst into tears. It feels absurdly good to cry, even better to hold Remus to me and sob into his red hair, and still better than that to stop crying and start kissing him madly.

Eventually, we break apart. Remus takes my left hand and absently plays with the wedding ring I'm wearing. His eyes take on a faraway look for a moment and then he smiles at me. "I see you're wearing my ring," he observes.

"You do realise that two men can't get married?" I say, wondering if Remus has overlooked this simple truth.

"I know. I just wanted someone to wear the ring."

"Why?"

"It's my grandmother's wedding ring. I was supposed to give it to the girl I proposed to."

"Oh. Then maybe you ought to be keeping it," I say, mock-seriously. Then I coax my hand from Remus, get off the bed and open my Hogwart's trunk. I pull out a bundle of letters- one for every day of his absence- and a parcel. All of them have the Beauxbaton's address on. I give them to Remus and he immediately begins to open the first letter.

"No, open the parcel," I say.

Remus grins at me and tears the brown paper off the tiny jewellery box. 

I sit back down and put my arm round him. "Remus Lupin, will you marry me?" 

He puts the ring; a gold band inset with a black stone, on his wedding finger and admires it. "You just told me men couldn't get married." 

"I know. I just wanted someone to wear the ring," I tease. 

Then he starts to laugh and I can't help but join in. If anybody happened to walk in right now they would be shocked to find Remus and myself in fits of hysterical laughter and occasionally choking out remarks like 'Good to see you again, Mrs Lupin', '_Mr _Black is overjoyed to see Mrs Black!' and "I'm the man, Sirius. Glam rock highwayman, remember?!" 

Eventually we calm down and Remus shows me a photograph of us kissing passionately. "They found it. I can't go back."

In a split second, my mind is made up. "You're not going back there. We'll leave school. I've got savings. We can get a flat in London or Hogsmeade or somewhere."  
  


"You'll leave school?" asks Remus breathlessly.

          And I guess this has to be the most romantic moment of my life, even without the concerts and picnics and glitter. "For you- anything."

          "Then we'll do it."


	21. Make Love

My sincerest apologies for being a lazy writer and taking forever with this chapter. Thank you to all the people who reviewed: Lady Sundig of the Wired, The Demonic Duo, A.L. Lorraine, Kitsuna-Ri, Lady DeathAngel, Ambika-san, q, Uozumi, SB for Me, tinuavial42, madkornfan, Jasini, Fade to Black, Mistress of the Manuscript, Destiny Bunny, xMadgirlX, Mr D. Grey (Lord, _is_ he manly!) violentstrorm32, fuzzyfishbowl, freakyfairy, Liver Beazard, Gypsy Lupin-Black, Big BlackDog, warriorGl, Emerald Moony, bard (Yeah, I love Alberta! Not that I've actually been there since I moved away…), jadewerewolf, dillydally, Gibe the Worl for Mr.Black, flamingo, Chloe Wagner, BaYer04rulz, Mordecai, nekohebi, kk, holly, Demus (much love), lil' Hp FAN, Liz, nightpearl, Robby Moon, Betsy Crandell, Jaime, , kayloo, Kura, Lauren (*bows down to fellow Sean Bean fan*), Atiannala (thanks for so many kind reviews), No 1 you wanna no and shimmeryrainbowgrrl.  

A couple of individual notes:

The counter: Doesn't everyone think that someone who goes down a whole page of fanfics submitting this review, '_There **is** 20 romances on this page. This page holds 25 stories. Is your romance just one in many?_', is quite sad. And it should be 'there **_are_ **twenty romances'…

{*mariatortia*}: Am very upset that you called Sean Bean a minger. Insult Sean Bean, darling; insult me.   
  
****

Aidenfire: Sean Bean is definitely _hot_. Trust me. 

**~Remus' POV, Saturday 18th October~**

I sit perched on the window ledge, looking out over James' garden. It's quite early, about eight O'clock, and the house is utterly silent. Sirius is sprawled across the bed, with the white sheets wrapped roughly round his waist, and the first precious rays of sunlight tracing a pattern across his naked torso. 

          In my hand I have a bunch of letters. My hand trembles as I open the first. It is addressed to myself but dated from many weeks ago when I first went to Beauxbatons. I'm tempted to forget about the letters; to burn them, or rip them up. I don't want to know what Sirius went through when we were apart. I don't want to remember what I felt when we were apart. At the same time, I have this immense desire to know that Sirius suffered as much in my absence as I did in his…     

_Remus,_

_                   You've been gone thirteen hours. I feel empty. Do you understand what I mean? Maybe you think I'm pathetic. I probably am. _

_          I feel like I'm missing something. It's like I've gone to a duel without my wand. I know I'm missing something- even when I'm not thinking about you, I know something is missing- and I don't know what to do._

_                                                                   Sirius._

_          P.S. I'm wearing your ring._

I turn to the next letter in the pile. 

          _Moony,_

_                   This is only the second day since you left and I still don't know what to do. I took James' new broom out for a ride and the wind in my face as I soared across the country made me feel better for a while. It's a pity I ever had to come back down to earth._

_          This isn't even a proper letter. It's too short. But what can I say to make it longer?_

_          How about 'I love you'?_

_                                      Padfoot._

I know I should stop reading the letters. I wish Sirius had never given them to me. This doesn't stop me picking up another letter and starting to read.

          _Darling Remus,_

_                   I'm not posting these. I don't even know why I'm writing them. James says I should move on. What does he know?_

_          I keep dreaming about you. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to do to sleep, so I wouldn't be disappointed when I wake up and you're not there. At other times I can't wait to go to bed, if only to see your face again. _

_          Dreams are all I have, Remus-love. _

_                                                          Sirius._

          I look up from the third letter and take a deep breath. Then I tear up all the rest of the letters. I don't need to read anymore. I'm back with Sirius and nothing else matters.

          "Why did you tear them up?" asks Sirius, who has just sat up in bed, leaving smudges of eyeliner behind on his pillow.

          I ignore his question. "Why didn't you send them?" I ask.

          Sirius shrugs. "They'd have only upset you." My eyes linger on his bare shoulders- the skin is drawn tight over bone and I wonder if he's been eating properly.

          I climb off the window ledge and get into bed with him. "I have a question for you," I say. There's something been bothering me about a certain piece of jewellery.

          "I expected you would," Sirius says gently.

          "You know I have a star-shaped earring?"

          Sirius nuzzles me neck. "Yes," he murmurs, kissing my hair. 

          "I bought it off your cousin. You said her name was Carmen. How come-"

          Sirius cuts me off. "She's a werewolf," he says flatly. "The earring is platinum. It just looks silver."

          "YOUR COUSIN'S A WERWOLF!" I cry. "Why haven't you ever told me that before now?" 

          Sirius shrugs again. "It wasn't important."

          We both stay quiet for a while. 

          "It's started snowing," says Sirius to break the silence.

          "James will be happy," I reply. James loves snowball fights. So does Sirius, as it happens.

          "Let's go for a walk?" blurts out Sirius suddenly. 

"What! In the snow?" 

"Yes!"

And within a few minutes we're both dressed- Sirius is wearing the most indecently tight jeans I have ever seen, black denim and flared at the bottom, coupled with a purple shirt, some heavy purple robes and his 'highwayman' boots (minus the spurs). He holds my hand as we creep down stairs and out through the front door, and then Sirius is laughing and leaping through a curtain of falling snow, and all I can see of him is this patch of purple and black, brilliant against the whiteness.

**            ~Later~**

James' mother is everything I could ever wish for in a mum. She's kind and caring, a damn good cook, fond of massive hugs and _motherly _in a way my own mum could never be.

          And more to the point, she's invited me to spend Christmas with Sirius and James.

          Right now, she's in France, explaining to my parents that I'm safe and well, and trying to acquire me some clothing or money for new clothes. James, Sirius and I are sat round the kitchen table sipping cups of red-hot cocoa.

          "It's really kind of your mum to go to France, James. I don't think I could have faced seeing my parents right now."

          James shrugs. "It's the least we could do after what you've been through."

          Sirius puts an arm round me. "It's going to be a great Christmas!" he says enthusiastically.

          James frowns. "It hasn't been the same without you, Remus. I wish there was something-" he finishes abruptly, as if unsure what to say to me.

          Sirius is smiling. "And it's going to be the best New Year ever!!!" he enthuses.

          "Sirius…" hisses James. "I thought you'd be a bit more bloody sensitive!"

          Sirius and I look at each other. "I'm not going back to Beauxbatons in the New Year, James," I say eventually.  

          James starts to grin broadly. "You're coming back! To Hogwarts? That's fabulous! Brilliant news! I can't believe-"

          "No, I'm not going back to Hogwarts, James."

          "We're leaving school," explains Sirius, happily. 

          The grin has vanished from James' face. He sits looking desperately unhappy for a few seconds, then he gets up and walks out of the room. The kitchen door slams shut behind him.

          "Bugger him," says Sirius looking shocked. "We tell him out good news and-"

          "HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE SO BLOODY INSENSITIVE?" I shout. Sirius looks completely taken aback and more than a little hurt. I continue in a quieter tone. "You're James' best friend and you're leaving him all alone."

          "He's got Peter…" says Sirius guiltily. Then he also gets up and looks at me, ashen-faced. "I'll go and talk to him," he says but doesn't get past the door because at that moment James reappears and Mrs. Potter apparates into the room. She smiles at me and hands me a bag of clothes. 

          "I shouldn't have walked off like that," says James to Sirius and myself.

          Sirius shakes his head. "You had every right to. I was being a complete Pratt and I'm sorry."  He tentatively holds out his arms and, much to my surprise, James steps forward and hugs him tight. 

          Mrs Potter smiles at her son for a second then turns to face me. "Your parents weren't in, Remus. But I left them a note and took some clothes from upstairs." She gestures at my bag of clothes, many of which are sparkling softly. "I see you're into this glam pop malarkey as well."

          "Glam Rock," corrects Sirius, grinning at Mrs Potter.

**~Sunday 19th October~**

_"This is our flat, darling." Sirius leads me into the tiny flat. I gasp. Inside the flat looks about five times bigger and is all painted purple. We walk hand-in-hand down the hallway. The purple carpet is soft underfoot._

_          "I can't believe this is all ours," I say incredulously as we enter an extravagantly furnished salon. Sirius releases my hand and sprawls seductively on a purple chaise-lounge. "How did you afford this?" I ask._

_          Sirius beckons me nearer and when I'm within his reach he pulls me down on top of him. "I knew you'd never want me if I wasn't rich. This is my way of showing you how much money I have."_

_          What?!_

_ It suddenly dawns on me that I'm in a dream. And for the first time I realise that dream-Sirius is naked. "Of course I'd want you if you were poor." I say, trying to wake up._

_          "Not like this," Sirius replies and I realise he's unbuttoning my shirt. I know I'm dreaming but I don't want to wake up. I want this. I want Sirius. "You're so beautiful," he whispers and his breath is hot in my ear as he unbuttons my jeans. "So very-"_

"Remus Lupin!! Where are you, Remus? REMUS!!!" screams my mother.

          "I'll not stand for this!" shouts my father.

          "He's still asleep," says Mrs Potter, her voice coming from the hallway. Of the Potters home. Not some fantasy flat I was dreaming of. 

          "If we catch him with that filthy Black bastard then-"

          Mr Potter interrupts my father angrily. "I'll have no talk like that in my house. I demand that you leave at once."

          I pull the covers over my head and hope my parents won't come up. Sirius wakes up and moans sleepily. "What is it?" he mumbles.

          "It's my parents!" I hiss. Downstairs I hear the front door slam shut and I relax. "They've gone."  
  


          "What did they want?" asks Sirius. 

          "I'll go and see." I pull on a dressing-gown and head downstairs. James' dad, a tall, pale-faced man of about fifty, looks at me gravely when I enter the kitchen. It appears he was in deep discussion with Mrs Potter. 

          "Your parents were just here, Remus," he says formally.

          "What did they want?" I croak.

          Mr Potter clears his throat and looks awkward. "It appears Beauxbatons sent the belongings you left behind to your parents. These included your diary."

          Oh God. My parents have read my diary. They know about Sirius. 

          Hell.

          **~Back Upstairs ~**

          "You know I'd love you if you weren't rich," I tell Sirius, relishing the sight of him trying to do up one of his stupidly tight pairs of jeans. 

He laughs. "Whatever brought this on, darling?" 

          "It's just a dream I had," I explain but Sirius frowns at me.

          "What sort of dream?" he asks.

          _God, this boy asks too many questions._ "A dream. I had last night. Just a dream," I mumble sheepishly.

          Sirius finally manages to fasten his jeans and turns to face me. "This wouldn't be a fantasy we're talking about would it?"

          I blush furiously. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm truly madly deeply in love with this boy. Right now I'm trying hard not to strangle him.

          "What was I wearing in this fantasy, sweet-pea," teases Sirius.

          I give in. "OKAY! FINE! It was a fantasy, Sirius. A full-blown sexual-fantasy! Or at least it would have been if I my parents hadn't woken me up!!! And for the record, you weren't wearing anything, sugar-plum!"

          Sirius turns a slight shade of pink. He looks at me sheepishly. "We're seventeen, Remus. We've left school. If it's sex you want, then…"

          "I don't know!" I say and wonder how this conversation ever got onto sex, and how to explain to Sirius about my problem. "Sex isn't that simple," I start. 

          "No?" asks Sirius, still blushing.

          "Werewolves mate for life."

          Sirius stands and stares at me. Then he starts to laugh again. "That's what you're scared about?" he chuckles.

          I nod.

          He stops laughing and takes my hands in his. "Christ Almighty, Remus! I'm wearing your wedding ring! Do you think I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you?"

          "I know but-"

          "I Love you, you flaming idiot! Forever! They'll never be anybody else!"

          "It's just-"

          "You and me. Always."__

          His lips are pressed against mine when Mrs Potter enters the room. She shrieks and then recovers herself as we spring apart from each other. She clears her throat. "Well, I can see why your parents aren't too pleased, Remus," she says.

          "Do you mind, Mrs Potter?" I ask earnestly.

          Mrs Potter, a small plump woman with a dazzling smile and greying hair, shakes her head. "Not in the least, boys. Will you join us downstairs for breakfast?"

          "Of course!" cries Sirius, kissing Mrs Potter on both cheeks and grinning at me, with such a look of pure love on his face that I almost start to cry.     

**            ~That Evening~**

          It's seven O'clock and they still haven't gone to the cocktail party.       

James looks bored out of his mind. "You look beautiful, mum," he says for about the fifteenth time.

          "Are you sure?" coos Mrs Potter anxiously. She tugs at the hemline of her green dress. "This doesn't make me look too fat?"  
  


          "No!" snaps James.

          "It's perfect!" cries Mr Potter.

          "My bum doesn't look too-"

          Mr Potter finishes his glass of whisky. "For God's sake woman! We should have left twenty minutes ago! There's scarcely any point in going now!"

          It's Sirius who saves the day. He pretends to scrutinize Mrs Potter, then nods approvingly. "Mrs Potter, you look very 'glam'. That dress perfectly compliments your skin colour! And did you know green is the most attractive colour there is? I fell in love with Remus when he was wearing emerald-green dress robes. And James," Sirius grins wickedly, "clearly only likes Lily for her bright green eyes!"

          Mrs Potter looks incredibly pleased. "That's very charming of you, Sirius." She beckons to her husband. "Come along, love. What on earth are you waiting for?" 

          And with that, Mrs Potter disappears, followed seconds later by a very frustrated Mr Potter.

          "I'm going upstairs to put my green jumper on!" says James jumping up and sprinting to the hallway.

Sirius intercepts him. "Mate, the green stuff was a load of bullshit! Now get lost!" 

          James grins at us, walks over to the fireplace, grabs a handful of floo powder and with a final cry of _'Lily's House!' _is gone. 

          Sirius comes and curls up next to me on the sofa. "I thought we'd never be alone," he says. Then he rests his head on my lap. I stroke his glossy hair absent-mindedly. "God, you're incredible…" I murmur.

          "I am aren't I?" 

          I nip his nose playfully. 

          "It's my birthday in three days," he says.

          I kiss his lips. "We'll you've got your birthday present from me."  
  


          "I have?" 

          "Well, James has," I say, remembering how I had given James, Sirius' birthday present expecting to be stuck in France.

          "What is it?"

          "Not telling." I lean down and kiss him properly. He tastes faintly of smoke. "Have you been smoking?"

          Sirius mumbles something that sounds like "Hmm…. well…. I occasionally… cigarette…yes…"

          I pretend to be cross but I don't really care. Then I can't think of anything to say and the silence becomes awkward. Even Sirius looks a bit embarrassed. And all the time something is forming in my mind, something I want to ask but am far too scared. Am I ready? What if he turns me down?  

          "I'll get us a drink," says Sirius, getting up. _Go on! Say it!_

"Make love to me!" I cry.

          Sirius turns around in the doorway. "Pardon?" For a second I think he's teasing me, then I realise that he hasn't heard what I said.

          "Make love to me."

          Sirius stares at me blankly.

          "Sex, Sirius! Sex!"

          Then he grins. "I know what you meant and I did hear you the first time! You do realise what you're doing, Remus? Me, forever?"

          I growl at him. 

          And he leads me up to our bedroom, where a faint trickle of star-light seeps in through the window and sparkles on the bed linen.

          ~~~

          Author's Note: One more chapter left, folks! One chapter for a happy ending! 

          Also, if anyone likes LOTR slash please read my two recent fics (Sam/Frodo, Aragorn/Boromir)!!! There is also a very short collection of poetry called 'Love Drenched In Glitter' based on this fanfic. Though I'm certainly no poet…


	22. Family Matters

Heaps of virtual love to the following: fuzzyfishbowl, The Demonic Duo, Liver Beazard, Ambiks-san, The Evil Cup of Tea, Vela-chan, bard, Dark Peppermint, Mariann, Destiny Bunny, Mistree of the Manuscript, I r8ped Riddle (I haven't seen Sean Bean in Scarlett. My favourite role of his is Richard Sharpe…*sigh*) tinuviel42 (Sean Bean is not 80!!! Not by a long, long shot…) Gypsy Lupin-Black, Ice Princesss, Druscilla Black, Audrey, madkornfan, DARKMEW13, Chloe-Wagner, A.L. Lorraine, holly, Audrey Miercoles, WaterSprite (How about using a song title?) AidenFire, Lady DeathAngel, Demus, BaYer04rulz, LegalanGreenleaf, No 1 u wanna no (Not an obsession with gay people.  Just slash!) xMadgirlx, Lauren, kayloo, Sakurelf, Polkat (I seriously don't like Arwen. She's the only one of Tolkien's characters I don't like. Well, actually I'm not a big fan of Rosie Cotton either…) Lady Sirihasisi, Remus-is-my-sweetie, ddz008, googoo, shimmeryrainbowgrrl, *{mariatortia}* (Which Sean Bean-film related character do you fancy? Please tell!) Jaime, HappyDappyDrunk, Wildwolf, Give the World for Mr Black and Yuki Bombay. I honestly can't thank all my reviewers enough. You're comments have kept me writing. And a special thank you to BigBlackDog for a wonderful piece of fanart! 

When I set about writing this, I felt that Remus as Remus started the story he should get the last say as well. So there are actually two chapters just been added…

**~Sirius' POV, Monday 20th December, The Morning After The Night Before…~**

Remus Lupin, normally so shy and modest, is lying spread-eagled across my bed and wearing no clothes. His face is buried in my pillow and his back is criss-crossed with silver scars. I remember running my hands along those scars, caressing that ivory skin and clinging to the slender body_. Moments of heaven amid a startling, beautiful intimacy_. I snuggle a little closer to Remus and play with a strand of his damp red hair. 

          The bedroom door bursts open and James appears in the doorway. "I'm off to Diagon Alley but I thought I'd-" His eyes take in our nudity, and James turns an even darker shade of red than Remus' hair. "This is from me, and Remus gave me this to look after," he stammers and tosses two presents in my direction without looking. "Happy Birthday!" James dashes out of sight and the door slams behind him.

          "What was that?" asks Remus heavily.

          "Just James, darling," I say, kissing the back of his neck and tracing a finger along his spine. 

          "James came in?" asks Remus, rolling onto his back. He looks horrified when I nod. "He saw us like this?! No! Oh Mon Dieu!"

          I can't help but smile as Remus' natural modesty reasserts itself, and he pulls a stray bed sheet over his body. "Happy Birthday," he says, in a calmer tone.

          "Seventeen," I say and examine the two presents James has left me. One is a smart silver watch, clearly chosen by James' mother. I put it on.

          "Not very Sirius…" says Remus critically.

          "It's lovely." Indeed, it's just a plain boring watch but it means the world to me because it's from James and his parents, the people I call 'family'. 

          I unwrap the other present, which is large and soft and wrapped in emerald-coloured paper. "This is from you?" I clarify.

          "Yes," he says. "I did buy it for you before I knew what you had bought me so-"

          Pulling away the last piece of green paper, I reveal an extremely familiar leather jacket. Identical, in every aspect but size, to the one I bought Remus for his birthday. I burst out laughing. "The same birthday present!"

          "Fate," Remus says, seriously.

          "Not fate: love."

**            ~Later~**

Remus is not only supremely intelligent and drop-dead gorgeous, he's also a brilliant cook. I think I might be the happiest man in the world as I eat eggs, sausages, bacon, hash browns, baked beans and black pudding for breakfast, while wearing my new leather jacket and talking to my darling boyfriend. Suddenly, but not unexpectedly, a huge ugly owl bangs on the kitchen window and I leap up to let the poor creature in. 

          "Poor little owl," I say, taking the key it is carrying in its beak and putting it in my pocket. I take the owl over to my breakfast and earn a glare from Remus as I start to feed it tiny bits of bacon and let it drink my orange juice. "I have to go now, I'm afraid…"

          Remus stares at me. "Go where?" he asks.

          I'm hoping to avoid this question and so keep my answer mysterious. "Somewhere, anywhere. I just have to go there!"

          "I thought we were going to spend some time together… with James at Diagon Alley and his parents not coming back from their cocktail party till later…" He looks at me, almost pleadingly and I feel like a complete bastard when I reply-

          "I'm sorry. I have to go somewhere. Diagon Alley, if you really want to know."

          "Can't I come?"

          In truth, I'd love him to come with me but I'm determined for this to be a surprise. "No."

          I was very much mistaken when I expected Remus to nod and murmur '_Okay, I understand that it's a secret and I trust you entirely_'. Instead, he looks at me angrily, almost _wolfishly, _and says, " I thought we'd promised never to have secrets, Sirius. How can we possibly leave school and live together if you won't even tell me where you're going?"

          "Relationships are built on trust, darling," I say lightly, feeling worse every second.

          Remus looks at me, hurt and affronted. "Trust! What do you know about trust, Sirius? Is this the sort of trust I had in you when you swore never to tell anybody I'm a werewolf!" I stare at him and a look of horror crosses his face. "I didn't mean that, Sirius. I've forgiven you. I shouldn't have said that." Tears fill his eyes. "I'm sorry."

          I walk towards the fireplace and grasp a handful of floo powder. "You were right," I say coldly. "I shouldn't talk about trust. I betrayed you and I'll regret that until the day I die but-" I take a couple of deep, steadying breaths "- I think I can make it up to you. If you'll just let me go to Diagon Alley and… do what I have to do…" I throw the floo powder into the flames and step into the fire with a cry of 'Diagon Alley!' The world becomes a spinning, chaotic mess and I put a hand into my coat pocket and clutch hold of the tiny rusty key.

          That key is the key to my future.  

           Our future.

**            ~ Still Later~**

          My platform shoes make a ridiculous amount of noise on the marble floor of Gringott's Wizarding Bank. I approach the nearest goblin who is busy weighing a pile of rubies. "Excuse me," I say nervously. The goblin looks up. "I wish to claim my inheritance." 

          The goblin scrutinises me. "Name?"

          "Sirius Black."

          The goblin disappears and comes back a few minutes later, covered in dust and with a cobweb dangling from one ear. In one hand it clutches an old scroll of paper. "You are seventeen?"

          "Yes."  
  
  


          "You have the key to vault 422?"

          "Yes."

          The goblin hands me the scroll and points to an empty line at the bottom. "Sign here!"

          I sign my name with an elaborate flourish and can't help grinning as the goblin leads me to the cart that will take me to a vault deep underground.

          A vault filled with gold.

          **~Early Evening ~**

          "I'm back!!!" I call, letting myself into the Potter's home. "Hello?" 

          "Hi, Sirius," says James, seemingly appearing out of thin air and looking intensely awkward. 

          "Thanks for the watch."

          He nods. "I know it isn't very… _you_… but my parents like it and-"

          "It's perfect," I say, trying to step past James and growing suspicious when he doesn't let me. "What's wrong?"

          James coughs and looks rather suspicious. "Nothing's wrong." He coughs again. "Lily got you some chocolates, I put them in you room and-"

          "What's going on, James?" 

          "Nothing's _going on. _Have you had a good-?" 

          James is interrupted by a woman's cry of "REMUS! YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME!" I instantly recognise the voice as belonging to his mother. 

          "Get out of my way!!" I say pushing James out of the way and running through to the kitchen. Remus is sat down at the kitchen table with his mother, while his father is pacing up and down. 

          "WHAT IN HELL'S NAME IS GOING ON?" I demand.

          "IF YOU DON'T MIND WE ARE HAVING A PRIVATE CONVERSATION!" cries Remus' mother indignantly.

          "I MIND VERY MUCH!" I shout.

          Remus' father pipes up. "WE DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK. WE HAVE COME TO TAKE OUR SON-"

          "Back to hell on earth," says Remus mildly.

          Silence.

          Remus rests his calm amber gaze on his parents. "Do you mind if I get a say in my future? Mother? Father?" I smirk. "Sirius?" 

          "Sorry, darling," I say, remembering our earlier argument and feeling both guilty and ashamed. 

          "Mother, father, I hate Beauxbatons. I don't even like France so I don't know where you got the idea that I would be better off there."

          "We wanted to protect you."

          "From what?" asks Remus, quietly. 

          "From Hogwarts. From-"

          "Sirius?" 

          "From everyone. Your so-called friends weren't-"

          "Good enough for me?" murmurs Remus.

          "Precisely," says Mrs Lupin.

          "They weren't good enough for a gay werewolf?"

          Complete silence.

          "It's true?" croaks Remus' father. "The diary they found at Beauxbatons… you actually wrote that. Oh Mon Dieu! Hell and damnation!"

          Remus' eyes flash angrily. "Did you think my diary lied?! Maybe I just liked to write about my gay relationship with Sirius because I'm straight and didn't want anyone to know! What planet are you two on???"

          More stunned silence. It appears Remus' parents are not used to their son answering back. 

          "Look at him, Remus," mumbles Mrs Lupin gesturing at me as if I can't hear her. "He's wearing makeup for Christ's sake!" 

          "I'm wearing makeup, mother."

          "And that coat-"

          "I bought him that coat."

          Remus' father tries. "Don't you know that his mother tried to get a werewolf culling act passed at the ministry?"

          "I'm fully aware of that."

          "He's a _Black_!"

          I can't bear this. "CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I LOVE HIM? WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? WE'RE IN LOVE?"

          Utter silence greets my outbursts. Remus beckons me over, stands up and leaning across the kitchen table, he kisses me. Passionately. 

          Remus eventually breaks away. He looks at his parents. "When I was very little I asked if anybody would ever love me. And instead of doing what most parents would do and saying '_Don't be silly, Remus; we love you_', you said… you said…"

          "What did they say?" I ask gently.

          "You said '_Nobody will love you, Remus, because nobody loves werewolves_'." 

          We all stare at him, horrified. "You miserable bastards!" I murmur.  

          "Sirius," warns Remus.

          "Who would say that to you? Undoubtedly the most kind, wonderful, caring person I've ever met! I can't-" 

          "You don't know what it's like to have a werewolf for a son," says Remus' father, helplessly. Then he puts his hands to his face and starts to weep. 

          "Come home with us, Remus," whispers his mother. 

          "WHAT?!" I cry.

          "We're sorry!" says Mr. Lupin, still crying.

          "I won't go back to _that_ school."

"We know," he answers, looking as if this is breaking his heart.  
  
"I'm going to live with Sirius."

          "You'll need money."

          "I have money!" I say loudly. "Lots of money." Then, when I receive several 'what's-he-talking-about?' looks I explain. "My Grandfather was a rich bastard. Owned a dragon farm or something like that. Anyway, he didn't like my mother's husband- God knows why. So he missed her out of his will, put all his money into a Gringott's vault, and entrusted the key to the Money and Inheritance department of the ministry to be sent out to me on my seventeenth birthday. It's about fifty thousand galleons."

          "Good God!" says Remus. 

          "Why you?" asks his father. 

          "Well, actually the money was left to the first right-handed boy to be born in the month of December with all ten fingers and toes, I believe."

          Remus manages a half-hearted chuckle. 

_Half-hearted. _In a split second of starting revelation, I realise that I can't ask Remus to divide his heart any longer. I know he loves me but for the first time I see that, despite their many faults, he loves his parents too, and I can't get in the way of that love. SoI clear my throat uneasily, walk up to Mr. Lupin, and offer him my hand. He stares at my outstretched arm for several long seconds. "I'm not trying to take your son away," I say.

          "I know," replies Mr. Lupin in his soft French accent. Instead of shaking my hand, he pulls me towards him and kisses me on both cheeks. 

Moving away, I turn to Mrs Lupin and say, "I would be honoured if you would give me your blessing to love your son."

Mrs Lupin stands up and shakes my hand. "I hate your family: in the past I've hated you. But never before have I seen you together with my son. Today, with the two of you in the same room, kissing, I think I have seen love. You have my blessing." She turns to Remus, "I was wrong, and I hope you will forgive me. People _do_ fall in love with werewolves."  

          "And werewolves fall in love with people," says Remus. 

          "Will you come back to France with us, Remus. Just for a few days- maybe for Christmas and the New Year. Let's have a short time of happiness together before we lose you."

          "You're not going to lose me!" cries Remus, with a ridiculous, happy look on his face.

          "You won't lose him. I won't let you," I say. "Family matters."

          **~Packing~**

          Remusis neatly folding his clothes up and putting them carefully in his suitcase. I'm not allowed to help because I'm useless at packing, so I'm sat on the bed smoking a cigarette and watching Remus bend down in his tight jeans. "I'm sorry for running off this morning. I just thought I could get out some money and use it for the deposit on a flat. It was going to be a surprise." 

          "It would have been lovely," murmurs Remus but he sounds a little uncertain. Eventually he pauses in his packing and looks me straight in the eye. "I know we're never going to be short of money now you're rich but, well, is this what you want?"

          "I don't understand."

          "James told me something, earlier."

          "What?"  
  


          "He said you'd always dreamed of becoming an Auror."

          I smile. "You're more important than any childhood dream, Remus. I don't have to be an Auror- I could be a ministry clerk or something. It's not the end of the world."

          Remus shakes his head. "I love you, you know?"

          "Yeah."

          "That's why I'm not letting you give up on your dream."

          "WHAT?"  
  


          He takes a deep breath. "Now my parents are okay, I think we should go back to Hogwarts. Both of us."

          I accept his decision at once. I feel quite relieved in some ways but disappointed in others. Living alone with Remus would be a dream come true but this way I can still train to be an Auror. "James will be happy."

          "Yes," chuckles Remus. 

          I extinguish the cigarette and allow Remus to climb on the bed next to me and kiss my neck. Reaching into my coat pocket I withdraw a brand new bronze key. "For you," I say placing it on the palm of his hand.

          Remus stares at the key as if he's never see one before. "Sirius… you shouldn't… I can't accept…" he stammers.

          "You already have the key to my heart, love. You may as well have the key to my money vault."

          Remus doesn't say 'thank you'. Instead, he pushes me forcefully back onto the bed, climbs on top of me and trails a wandering finger all over my torso. "You know I'm pretty-much finished packing and we still have twenty minutes left till I leave with my parents," he murmurs. 

          "Really?" I say, trying to sound casual.

          "I wonder what we could do in twenty minutes?"

          _Quite a lot, I imagine. _But I can't answer Remus' question out loud because his lips are already pressed fiercely against mine.    
  



	23. Wicked Things

Thanks to medusa, SupernaturalAngel, Bat Girl, Remus-is-mysweetie and CelestialDrgn. 

I've just put up two chapters- check you've read the one before first.****

**~Remus' POV, Monday 3rd January~**

I walk into King's Cross Station with my father, who is looking disdainfully at the English architecture. 

"It's not France," he says critically.

"Thank God," I mutter. 

Together we pass through the barrier onto Platform 9 and 3 quarters. "Your mother and I want you to know that we're very proud of you, Remus," he says.

"That makes me very happy," I reply, kissing my father's cheek. I notice James leaning out of a nearby carriage on the Hogwarts Express and mouth thank you as he levitates my trunk onto the train. "I have to go now." I start to walk away but my father calls after me. 

"Remus!"

"Yes?"

He wrings his hands awkwardly. "About Sirius…" he begins.

"What about him?" 

"He's always welcome... I mean our house is… I know he doesn't really have a family and we hope that… That is to say he's… well-"

"He'll be pleased to know you've said that," I say solemnly and watch as my father walks off. Already, I'm surrounded by memories of being here four months ago, madly in love with Sirius, ecstatic at being hugged by him, and barely aware of Glam Rock. I'm about to step on the train when-

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," whispers Sirius in my ear, his hot breath tickling my ear and making me stop mid-step. 

My heart skips a beat and I suddenly feel unbelievably breathless, and more than a little bit intoxicated. _Drunk on happiness_. "Where did you appear from?"

"I stepped out of your imagination," he says, laughing and kissing my forehead.

I look into his eyes and can almost see the light burning in those dark kohl-lined orbs.

"My dad says-"

Sirius shrugs." I don't care what he says."

"-That you're welcome around our house anytime and he hopes you'll consider yourself as one of the family."

Sirius looks disbelieving. "He said that? Honestly?"

"Yes, in those exact words," I say. The train door shuts. "Oh God, the bloody doors have shut!"

"It's alright," says Sirius calmly.

The train starts to move slowly off. 

"It's going!" I cry.

"Yes," says Sirius, gently pushing me up against one of the huge brick pillars on the platform and kissing me hotly, his tongue doing wicked things in my mouth.

And as usual I don't resist.

Nor do I resist when Sirius takes my hand and leads me out into the muggle car park, and towards a huge black motorbike. "I had to spend some of my money," he explains. 

 "We'll never get to Hogwarts on a motorbike, Sirius," I say, wondering if Sirius might be kidnapping me. "You don't even know where the castle is…"

All the same, I climb up behind Sirius and wrap my arms round him. "Do you like it?" asks Sirius, as we turn off a minor street and ride down a deserted alley."  
  


"It'd alright," I answer dubiously.

"Maybe you'll like it better now!" The motorbike's engine growls loudly and a second later takes off into the air.

"IT FLIES!" I shout, shutting my eyes tightly and trying not to be afraid.

"YES!" laughs Sirius. "You didn't think I'd buy an ordinary motorbike, did you?"

**~Later~**

The Hogwarts Express comes to a halt far below us, and Sirius pulls the motorbike straight towards the huge castle. We swoop once around the jutting spires and turrets and then dive towards the bank of the huge lake. Sirius' hair whips in my face and I bury my head in his neck as we plummet towards the earth. 

But I'm no longer afraid and I'm going home.

**~~~**

_You give me wings and courage to fly-_

_to dive and soar through a purple sky._

_You always were my closest brother,_

_And now I'm proud to be your lover._

_You said "one day we'll live together."_

_and I say "I will  love you forever."_

_You hold me in your gentle embrace,_

_and time vanishes without a trace._

_Some nights the stars are falling embers,_

_and you kiss me, so sweet and tender._

_The light of our love never will flicker,_

_for ours is a love, drenched in glitter. _


End file.
